


If you can wait till I get home, then I swear to you that we can make this last.

by Band_obsessed



Category: One Direction
Genre: ... - Freeform, Christmas fic, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holiday Cheer, I think that's it - Freeform, Light Smut, Like too fluffy, M/M, Male/Male, Military, Mpreg Louis, Really fluffy, TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF PAST SELF HARM AND ONGOING DEPRESSION, larry stylinson - Freeform, oh!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:04:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2835668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Band_obsessed/pseuds/Band_obsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the first day of Christmas Harry gave Louis a list of instructions, posted through the rusted letter box in their apartment, rose petals tumbling gracefully towards the floor as he took the A4 sheet out of the envelope, paying extra care as to not crumple it in any way. Harry had been gone for his last military mission for three months now and was due back anytime. Louis’ heart fluttered as he thought of his boyfriend holding him again, waking him with kisses and singing him to sleep. He smiled to himself and felt tears pricking his eyes as he started to read Harry’s familiar scrawl.</p><p>Or</p><p>Harry is in the army and two weeks feels like a lifetime away</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Holiday Cheer fic for a tumblr blog! My elements were:  
> Universe: Mental health
> 
> Story Type: Jealous/protective/clingy
> 
> Wintry Element: Snowstorm
> 
> This has taken me nearly two weeks to write so I really hope it's of an okay standard. I would like to give a MASSIVE thanks to my best friend Sophie for taking the time to edit this and put up with my stressing over it! I would also like to warn you that this may contain some triggering topics such as mentions of past self harm and battling with depression. I suffer from both of these as well as social anxiety so if you ever need anyone to talk to, my tumblr inbox is always open:(http://hollys7717xx.tumblr.com) (Title taken from A Day To Remembers's song, 'If It Means a Lot to You') Without further ado:

Day one:

On the first day of Christmas Harry gave Louis a list of instructions, posted through the rusted letter box in their apartment, rose petals tumbling gracefully towards the floor as he took the A4 sheet out of the envelope, paying extra care as to not crumple it in any way. Harry had been gone for his last military mission for three months now and was due back anytime. Louis’ heart fluttered as he thought of his boyfriend holding him again, waking him with kisses and singing him to sleep. He smiled to himself and felt tears pricking his eyes as he started to read Harry’s familiar scrawl;

“Louis, my darling, love of my life, apple of my eye, Christmas to my tree, ginger to my bread, I miss you like crazy, like so much it’s driving me insane, and it’s only been three months. On the plus side, I’m back from my last ever army mission in around two weeks or so. Which, unless you’re in a serious state of denial or just really bad at maths, means I won’t be back for Christmas or your birthday. I know I promised I would be, but they’re keeping me longer, seeing as it’s my last ever mission. Please don’t be sad, baby. I’ll be back soon, okay? I’ll be back and holding you in no time. I want you to twelve things for me, one a day leading up to Christmas, okay? That means it’s twelve days in total. I’m hoping you’re nodding right now because I can’t exactly not list them. Ready?

Day 1. Decorate the house. Go out, buy decorations. I’m getting paid soon so buy whatever you want. But! I have a list of three things you must buy, and not just because you love me.  
1 A Christmas tree and decorate it  
2 Christmas drinks. Eggnog, wine, champagne…etc…etc (Don’t let Niall anywhere near it until day ten. I know what he’s like).  
3 A holly wreath for the door with lights entwined through the leaves.

Day 2. Buy some bath things and new pyjamas from the shop where we first met, okay? Treat yourself. Pop on a Christmas movie, call the guys and play stupid games until some ridiculous hour in the morning. 

Day 3. Go shopping with Zayn for a suit. Don’t ask why, just do it. I promise it’ll be worth it.

Day 4. If it’s snowed like I’ve heard it should, go have a snowball fight. Make snow angels, build a snowman. Be a child again for a day. I know how much you love the snow. Can still remember the first time it snowed when we first got together, you woke me up by jumping on me. Like a kid you are, eyes glinting with mischief, dragging me out of bed in just my boxers. I got sick because of you. You’re lucky I love you so much, boo.

Day 5. Go iceskating with the lads. Try and let go of the wall this time, yeah? And hey, given that I’m not there this time, you’ll be less likely to break something, eh? 

Day 6. Only five more days until your birthday! Twenty three, Lou. You’re getting old, baby. I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I say that. Today I want you to flush your blades. I know it’s hard, honey. And I really hope you haven’t used them since I’ve left. If you haven’t, I’m so, so proud of you. If you have, then I am so sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me. Please make sure that you keep the cuts clean. If you get sick and I’m not there, I will never forgive myself. If you've done this, and if you have, I am so fucking proud of you, call your mum and my mum. Hell, even if you didn't flush them, call our mum’s. I’m guessing you'll need the comfort. 

Day 7. Spend this day in bed. Watch sappy romance movies like we used to, point out all your favourite parts like you always do. Dance around crazily and sing Christmas songs at the top of your lungs. Have fun, sweetie.  
Day 8. Go grocery shopping. I know, I know boring, right? Wrong. Buy things for Christmas cookies, spices, icing, those little silver balls I know you love. Go wild. But don’t bake them. That’s for tomorrow. 

Day 9. Yup, you guessed it! Bake the cookies! Use whatever you want, whatever shapes, hell, make dicks if you want. Just be happy, darling. 

Day 10. Your birthday is tomorrow. You have one job for today. Smile. Smile until your cheeks are aching like nothing you've ever felt before. Hang out with the lads again, in fact, call all your friends and get pissed, have a fucking fantastic time, babe, drink all the alcohol you bought for today. Laugh. Smile. Do it for me.

Day 11. Ask Zayn for this day. He knows what to do.

Day 12… Okay, I lied… This is eleven days of Christmas. On Christmas day I hope you’ll have the best time of your life.

I gotta go, Lou. They’re yelling at me to get going. I’ll see you in no time. Please don’t be too sad. Just try for me. I love you more than anything in the whole entire world, boo. 

All my love from the depths of my heart,  
Harry xxxxxx

Louis was crying by the time the note had ended, sobs racking his fragile body. He missed Harry, so, so much. His mind went to day six. He couldn’t possibly flush his razors. Although, he hadn’t cut for six months now, the cuts that he’d made before now only thin silver lines across his tanned hips and thighs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before holding the note close to his chest and then pinning to the board in the kitchen. Wiping his eyes, he picked up his phone and called Niall.

***  
“Louis, mate. For the love of God just choose one, okay?” Niall said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

“It’s too hard Niall! None of them look right!” Louis complained, hands gesturing wildly to the Christmas trees surrounding him.

“For fucks sake, they’re all green, all prickly and all tall. Fucking pick one before I choose one for you. You’re worse than Soph when I take her dress shopping.” Niall said, rubbing a hand across his pale forehead and pinching the bridge of his nose as if warding off a headache. Louis pouted and continued to look around, eyes scanning all the trees. None of them seemed quite right. Either too tall or too small, too wide or too narrow. He was about to give up when one caught his eye. It was pushed right towards the back, but the width and height was perfect. 

“Niall! Niall! I found one!” Louis yelled, running over to the Christmas tree and holding the bark tightly, a smile stretched wide on his face, making his eyes crinkle slightly.

“Thank fuck, mate.” Niall chuckled, calling over a shop attendant to wrap it up in netting before helping Louis carry it to the car and securing it across the back seats.

“Now we gotta buy a holly wreath, some Christmas lights and some alcohol.” Louis said, eyes scanning the notes app on his phone where he’d written his list. Niall’s eyes lit up at the alcohol part and he whooped loudly.

“Christmas drinking! Now that’s what I’m talking about, Lou!” Louis rolled his eyes and turned the key in the car, starting it up and driving off towards the local supermarket.

***

After another hour and a half, three arguments over what type of wine to buy, Louis eventually caving to Niall’s choice after he got down on his knees and begged, four boxes of Christmas lights and one holly wreath, they were back at the flat. The two boys had fallen over twice while trying to erect the tree and eventually called Liam, Zayn and Sophie for a hand. Sophie was Niall’s girlfriend of two months and to be honest, Niall was totally gone for her. He was sickeningly in love, rambling on to Louis about her until Louis eventually hung up, only to accept Niall’s call again and let him finish. As far as Louis was concerned, Sophie was one of the coolest people he’d met, always sarcastic and so far never hurt his best mate once. Not to mention the fact that they both had depression and were the person that one would call up sobbing at three am. She was one of Louis’ best friends, to be honest and Louis was grateful that Niall had found her.

“One, two, three!” Liam yelled, everyone placed strategically around the tree, all pushing as soon as Liam called ‘three’. Everyone’s arms strained with the effort of pushing the tree into place, swaying precariously before finally stilling in the green and red stand. Everyone let out the breath they had been subconsciously holding in and stepped back cautiously. 

“Okay, boys! Time for some decorating!” Sophie said, a grin spreading across her face, her eyes twinkling with mischief. 

***

“Sophie! What the hell did I ever do to you?!” Niall called angrily, yanking the wire that had been wrapped around him when he dozed off on the couch. Everyone was cracking up, Sophie doubled over in a fit of giggles. She took a deep breath and placed the wreath on his head, making him yelp.

“Ow! Ow! Sophie! You do know that holly is a very- ow- spiky plant, right?” He asked, desperately shaking his head, trying to make the wreath fall off. Sophie rolled her eyes and lifted it off his head and placed it on the table.

“Okay, let’s untangle him.” Zayn said, started to work on unwrapping the cables from Niall’s limbs. 

“Oh, but he makes a very pretty human Christmas tree.” Louis mused, rubbing the light stubble that was scattered over his chin.

“I mean it mate, if you don’t get me out of here now, I’ll… I’ll… Tell Harry!” Louis faked a gasp, his hand flying dramatically to his chest, eyes full of fake shock and terror.

“No! You’d never tell my boyfriend that I played a harmless prank on you!” Louis said, rolling his eyes but dropping to his knees to help unwrap Niall, making sure the lights weren’t plugged in before hand. 

***

When the lights were off of Niall and wrapped around the tree where they belonged, Sophie and Zayn worked on threading the spare pair of Christmas lights through the wreath while the other three added baubles and tinsel to the tree, Niall and Liam lifting Louis so he could reach the top of the tree to place the angel on top. Taking a few steps back, Louis admired the tree from a distance. Something didn’t look right. The angel didn’t sit correctly, always falling to one side. That’s when Louis’ eye lit up with an idea and he ran off into the bedroom, rummaging around the drawers until he found the picture he was looking for. Dashing back to the lounge, he begged Liam and Niall to lift him once more. With a bit of luck and a careful hand, the angel was on the floor and Louis’ favourite picture of Harry taking it’s place.

“Perfect.” Louis said, eyes shining happily. Sophie cooed while the others made gagging sounds or rolled their eyes. By sunset, day one’s challenge had been completed. The tree was decorated, the wreath hung, the alcohol stashed away in the kitchen. It was around midnight that everyone left, kissing Louis on the cheek or hugging him with the promise of seeing him tomorrow. Of course Louis fell asleep under the tree that night, Christmas lights twinkling dimly, Harry’s face filling his dreams, well, nobody had to know. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as before! Slightly more monologue and backing story so enjoy! xx

Day 2:

_Buy some bath things and new pyjamas from the shop where we first met, okay? Treat yourself. Pop on a Christmas movie, call the guys and play stupid games until some ridiculous hour in the morning._

Louis woke with a smile on his face which was unusual for him. Usually he woke up numb, crying or screaming from the demons that haunted his dreams. The worst one is where he can see Harry lying motionless on the battlefield, debris scattered around him, bullet lodged in his head, spilling crimson blood over his army uniform. He shakes his head, determined to not bring himself down. After all, Harry only wrote him yesterday, meaning that he was most likely alive and well. Louis swung his legs out from underneath him, forgetting that he’d slept on the floor, feeling cold shooting through his legs as he did so, hitting the rough carpet. Swaying slightly as he stood, he stumbled towards the bathroom and into the shower, standing under the hot spray, letting it run down his face. He was as quick as possible, not trusting himself around any razors like the one in his shaver. Once out and vaguely clean, he dried his hair with his towel and sprayed on Harry’s deodorant before brushing his teeth. It was kind of sad really, Louis thought, sad that everything he wore some way or another reminded him of Harry. Like the jeans and tee shirt that he pulled on were Harry’s, like the toothbrush he used was Harry’s. Like the side of the bed he slept on was Harry’s. Sighing, he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed his wallet and keys, determined to do what Harry wanted him to.

***

Louis couldn’t bring himself to enter the shop. In fact, he'd sat in the car for around half an hour now, feeling the tears burn his eyes, the lump in his throat almost impossible to swallow round. It was only when the tears began to spill that he drove home, thoughts of kissing razor blades clear in his head, which is the reason he called Sophie.

***

She was round in ten minutes, banging on the door in such a manner that she was sure to knock it to the ground in a matter of minutes. Louis opened it, eyes red, cheeks blotchy. Her eyes softened as she took in his features and pulled him into a hug, gently carding her fingers through his hair. Louis began to break down all over again then. Body racked with sobs, chest heaving. Sophie asked no questions, just guided him to the couch and sat him down, his head still buried into her neck, tears spilling at an alarmingly fast pace. Rubbing his back for a minute, she then put her hands firmly on his shoulders and pushed him back, forcing him to meet her soft eyes.

“What happened, babe?” She asked, gently stroking his wet cheek. He shook his head, more tears falling from his eyes.

“I-I couldn’t go i-in. I-It was the p-place where we f-first met.” He got it, trying to fit the words in between his sobs. She sighed, frowning, hesitating before saying,

“Tell me about it. Tell me how you first met.” Louis stared at her, a frown making its way onto his features, eyebrows knitted together.

“H-he was in there b-buying Christmas presents for his s-sister like me. I-I bumped into him, literally,” he paused and laughed bitterly, “I-I stumbled and h-he caught me and I don’t think I’d ever s-seen eyes so green or bea- beautiful. I remember thinking he was angel, f-finally here to t-take me away from t-this form of hell. W-when we collided, our items sp-spilled everywhere, scattering the floor and I was reaching d-down to pick them up and m-my sleeves rode up, sh-showing my s-scars and I remember his eyes went serious and a-almost stormy and i-it was so fucking dumb. I-I didn’t even know him and h-he pulled me into a hug and k-kissed my scars, fucking kissed them, in the m-middle of the shop and for the rest of the day m-my arm was t-tingling from his lips and I- I found a note in my back p-pocket that he must’ve slipped in at some point with his number and a smiley face. Fuck. I-I can’t go back in there without him. I can’t.” Louis spoke between sniffles and tears. He'd always been the clingy one of the two, Harry being nearly freakily protective of his older boyfriend. Sophie smiled a small, almost timid smile.

“That’s beautiful, Lou. Really.” She said, wiping away the tears from his cheeks.

“I-I’ve let him d-down.” Louis sniffled, scrubbing at his eyes with balled fists. 

“No. No. You haven’t. He would hate to hear you saying that. I know I haven’t even met him yet, but I can see how much he cares about you. It’s the kind of love even a blind man can see.” She reassured. He nodded slowly and inhaled shakily, smiling gratefully at her.

“Why don’t we put on a movie like he suggested?” She asked gently, grabbing the blanket from the back of the sofa and spread it over him. Louis nodded again, seemingly too emotionally drained to say anymore. Sophie stood up and slipped in ‘The Polar Express’ before joining him on the couch again. 

“After this we’ll call the boys, okay?” She asked rhetorically. Louis knew it was more of a command than it was a question, yet for the first time in two hours he smiled.

***

The boys came round at around seven, Niall bringing beer and pizza, his eyes sparkling with happiness. That was until he sae Louis’ dull eyes. He set the food and drinks down on the table and launching himself at Louis, tackling him into a hug. Soon Zayn and Liam joined the hug, Sophie discreetly taking a picture on her phone of the scene. When they all pulled back, they were all crying, even Zayn which nearly never happened. 

“Let’s play some stupid fucking board game then. Knowing Harry, that’s what he’ll have in mind when he says ‘game’.” Niall grumbled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Well, on the account of the fact that his boyfriend has had a shitty day, m’sure he won’t mind us playing some FIFA.” Louis said, a corner of his lip being pulled upwards into a minute smile. Zayn clapped him on the back, ruffling his hair.

“Cheer up, mate. FIFA time!” He did a running jump onto the sofa, snatching up the Xbox controller as he did so. Liam sat down next to him and handed Louis the other game pad. 

“Winner plays me.” Sophie said, leaning forward in her seat.

***  
They didn’t leave that night. Instead they all fell asleep on various sofas, Zayn holding Louis close, playing the big spoon for the night, Niall holding Soph to his chest, Liam sleeping alone, the FIFA game still playing to itself, lighting up the scene in the lounge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was okay! xx Stay beautiful babes! xx


	3. Day three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but I hope it's okay. Enjoy! xx

Day Three:

Go shopping with Zayn for a suit. Don’t ask why, just do it. I promise it’ll be worth it.

***

Sophie was the first one up, waking the others with the smell of pancakes and coffee, some tea for Louis. Niall bolted up as soon he smelt the food and went charging towards the table, running into his seat at such a force that the whole table shook. Sophie smiled at her boyfriend’s antics and leant down, capturing his lips with her own. He smiled up into the kiss, head tilting back until his neck was resting against the back of his chair. They were pulled apart by Zayn making fake gagging noises as he walked in, hair still looking like he’d just done a photo shoot even after a nine hour sleep. Louis and Liam followed closely behind, Louis’ hair disheveled, Harry’s tee baggy shirt around his small frame. Liam frowned at him, puppy dog eyes swimming with concern. Louis saw him looking at him and smiled, walking over to the table and sitting down.

“I’m fine, Li, really.” Louis said, eyes seeming slightly brighter than yesterdays dull shade. Sophie nodded, eyes narrowed as if she was trying to measure the level of sincerity held within his words. Once she was happy that he was feeling better, she placed a small plate of pancakes in front of him, making sure he knew to only eat whatever he felt he could. Niall had already wolfed down his plate of pancakes and was trying to discretely steal one of Sophie’s when she slapped him upside the head with her tea towel.

“Hey!” Niall whined, eyebrows tugged down into a frown, pink lips pouting. She was trying to stare him down but couldn’t help the tiny smile that fought its way onto her features, replacing the glare with a look of utter fondness.

“No, not hey. I cooked them, I’ll eat mine.” She said, ruffling his hair as she sat down next to him, moving her plate away.

“B-but, we’re dating! We share food!” Niall tried to reason, eyes pleading. 

“Oh, so that means I can have whatever I want off of your plate?” Sophie asked with an eye roll. Niall put down his knife and fork and turned to look at her, a serious look washing over him.

“Of course. You’re my girlfriend. I’d share anything and everything with you.” With that, he plucked one of Zayn’s pancakes instead, followed by one of Liam’s, leaving Sophie’s heart fluttering in her chest, a blush gently spreading across her cheeks and a love struck smile on her face. She was yanked out of her thoughts when she heard Louis yell,

“Nuh uh! Stay away from my pancakes!” When Niall went to take the last pancake off of his plate. Louis pulled the plate towards him, wrapping his arms around the edge.

“Mine.” He pouted lightly, pretending to look hurt, blue eyes filling with tears on command, eyebrows tugged down. 

“Jesus Christ. How does Harry ever say no to you?” Niall muttered, abandoning all hope of stealing one of Louis’ pancakes and taking Sophie’s instead. This time she didn’t complain. Zayn saw Louis lightly flinch at the mention of Harry’s name and he kicked Niall’s shin under the table, shooting him a pointed look. Niall’s eyes widened, darting back and forth between Zayn and Louis, not sure what to do.

“Listen mate, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring him up.” Niall apologised, picking up the last pancake on his plate and handing it to Louis, almost as a peace offering. 

“Friends?” Louis grinned at Niall’s offer, heart suddenly feeling lighter, finally feeling able to breathe somewhat normally again. He had to let go. Stop worrying. Harry was coming home in two weeks. He could wait two weeks. He’s already waited three whole months. He could do this. 

“Of course, Ni. We’ll always be friends. Best mates, you and me. But guys it’s fine, I don’t want everyone always tip toeing around me, I’m not made of glass. I can take hearing Harry’s name. Really.” Everyone visibly relaxed after hearing that, letting a long breath.

“Thank fuck.” Zayn breathed, running a hand through his hair. Louis smiled at them and gave Niall back his pancake with a light chuckle after he’d been staring at it with puppy dog eyes, licking his lips occasionally.

“Suit shopping today,” Louis said offhandedly, “any idea what that’s about?” He asked Zayn, watching the black haired boy’s features light up, a smile stretching across his lips. Zayn stood up, taking his plate to the sink, tapped his nose and walked off to get ready. Louis sighed, pushing his plate towards Sophie, kissed her on the cheek and chased after Zayn.

“Once again, I’m left to clean up.” She sighed, Niall laughing and Liam standing up to help, stacking the plates and adding them to the ever-growing pile of dishes in the kitchen sink.

***

“Zayn! We’ve looked in three different suit shops now!” Louis complained, dragging his feet as they walked around the plaza. His feet were killing him and his ankles were swollen, which is weird because he used to go running once a week until a few months ago. He shouldn’t be tiring out this quickly. Shrugging it off as emotional exhaustion, he hurried to catch up to Zayn, little feet almost scampering to do so. 

“For God’s sake you have like no stamina.” Zayn replied, walking faster as to attempt to cover all the tailors possible. Louis sighed and kept in pace with Zayn, feet tapping lightly and the cobbled pavement below. 

The next shop they went in seemed more promising than the others they’d visited. For one, the assistants were actually helpful and soon Louis had four different suits neatly laid over his arm and was being pushed in the direction of the changing rooms to try them on. He’d already decided what one he wanted to buy to be honest. A navy blue one with a crisp white shirt, ruffles discrete, trousers tight and figure hugging, waistcoat slimming. He was almost hesitant to try it on, scared it wouldn’t fit but the excitement of seeing his reflection in the suit quickly outweighed that and soon he was slipping into the cloth and admiring what he saw. Honest to God this was the only item of clothing he’d tried on and it fitted him perfectly. Louis twirled, neck craning back to see his butt, pleased with the way the fabric hugged it.

“Oi! Louis! Come on! I wanna see, mate!” Zayn called from outside the changing room, startling Louis from his state of mind with a grin. Taking a deep breath, Louis stepped out, self consciously fixing his hair. The assistant clapped her hands with a quiet squeal before bending down non too subtly to ‘fix his trouser legs’. Her pencil skirt stretched obscenely around her arse, boobs low hanging and Louis wanted to throw up. Zayn was laughing into his hand, trying to cover the choked off sounds. She stood up and smiled at him, painted lips stretched too wide before throwing him a wink and strutting off towards the checkout. Zayn took his hand away and doubled over with laughter, leaving Louis embarrassed and awkward. 

Once they’d paid and wrapped up the suit, (Louis being handed the shop assistants number), they walked out and towards the car park which was just around the corner. The plaza was filling up now, screaming kids riding by on bikes, couples holding hands or sharing kisses in the afternoon sun. Louis’ heart ached as he thought of Harry and him doing that before he left, just lazily strolling, hand in hand, pointing and laughing at different sights along the way. Louis wanted to scream, to banish the thoughts of him that swam around in his head, to banish his smile and eyes that haunted him whenever he closed his eyes. He just wanted him back. Shaking his head he focused on something else. Anything else. He wasn’t going to bring himself down. Not again. Not today.

***

The car ride back was a hell of a lot tense than the trip to the plaza and Louis was just happy to rest his feet after being on them for the best part of four hours. Sighing, he let his head lean back against the head rest and stared at the ceiling of Zayn’s car as the town sped past in a blur. Before he knew what was happening, his eyelids were drooping, mind lulled by the soft hum of the engine and the gentle vibrations and soon he was fast asleep. Zayn only realised when he got no reply on the whole ‘what should I get Perry for her birthday’ ramble and risked a look over at his sleeping form before returning his eyes to the road with a soft smile. 

***

“Aw, he’s so cute when he’s asleep!” Louis heard a voice coo, stirring him awake, eyes blinking open groggily, fists coming up balled to rub away the sleep. He sat up slowly, taking in his bearings. 

“Why am I on the bed? I thought I was in the car?” Louis asked, mind still clouded from sleep, not comprehending what he was seeing.

“You were, babe, but we brought you in. You looked like you could use the rest.” Sophie said, resting her cool hand against his forehead, voice soft as silk. Nodding, he leaned back and hugged his knees to his chest before stretching out and sighing contently. 

“The TV’s on if you wanna see what there is and Soph’s making pasta for dinner so come down if you’re hungry.” Niall said, handing him the remote control and ruffling his hair which earned a grunted ‘fuck off’ from the older boy. Niall laughed as he left the room, flipping Louis off over his shoulder as he went.

“Want us to stay?” Liam asked, gesturing to Zayn and himself. Louis shrugged, bobbing through the channels absentmindedly, not bothering to read the title of the show before moving on.

“If you want, I’ll probably be going black to sleep again though, my head is killing me and my stomach’s hurting a bit too. Probably getting a cold or something.” He sighed, rubbing his temples with two fingers before rolling onto his side, pulling the covers up to his neck and leaving the TV playing to itself in the background. He vaguely heard Zayn mutter something to him followed by Liam’s worried tone before the door clicked shut, signaling they’d left. Louis sighed and let his eyelids drop shut once more, the TV helping him to drift off. 

***

Niall went up to check on him after everyone had eaten, bringing him up a bowl of pasta, only to find Louis curled up with one of Harry’s jumpers that had been down the end of the bed, nose buried into the fabric, snuffling slightly in his sleep. Resisting the urge to coo, Niall slipped in beside him, laying his head against his shoulder and watched some stupid sitcom that just happened to be on the TV. The other three came up around half an hour later, wanting to make sure Louis hadn’t killed Niall or himself and saw the two boys curled up around each other, snoring slightly within their slumber. Switching off the TV, Liam and Zayn said their goodbyes to Sophie and left quietly, pulling away from the complex and whizzing off down the street in their separate cars, leaving Sophie to sneak in behind Niall, squeezing up as close as she could without disturbing him. If Niall turned around half way through the night and pulled her closer, she definitely didn’t smile in her sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope it was okay, as I said, not entirely happy. Stay strong, darling xx


	4. Day Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff and oh! More fluff! Enjoy :)

Day Four

If it’s snowed like I’ve heard it should, go have a snowball fight. Make snow angels, build a snowman. Be a child again for a day. I know how much you love the snow. Can still remember the first time it snowed when we first got together, you woke me up by jumping on me. Like a kid you are, eyes glinting with mischief, dragging me out of bed in just my boxers. I got sick because of you. You’re lucky I love you so much, boo.

***

Louis awoke with a pounding headache, aching chest and gut wrenching nausea. He bolted up, pushing Niall away, and darted into the nearest bathroom, emptying his stomach in the toilet. He groaned, stomach still churning uncomfortably, and rested his face against the cool seat of the toilet, wrapping his arms around himself. Niall must’ve felt him dash away because soon there was a hand on his back, rubbing small, soothing circles and a wet cloth against his face. Helping him stand, Niall flushed the toilet and carried him to the sink to help him brush his teeth and mop up his face. 

“Ni, it hurts.” Louis croaked, voice hoarse from the puking, legs weak and wobbling slightly on the cold tiled floor. 

“I know, Lou, I know.” Niall said, a sympathetic look crossing his face. He led Louis back to the bed where Sophie was now sitting up straight, wondering what had happened. Her eyes fell upon Louis and her confused frown smoothed out into a look of concern.

“Hey, Louis, you alright, honey?” She asked, standing up and stretching, her tee shirt riding up, exposing her stomach. Louis nodded slowly, not wanting to move his head too much as the pounding pain would only worsen. 

“It’s probably just a cold.” He sniffed, wincing as his hand brushed over his nipple while climbing into the bed. Sophie frowned, Niall tucking him in again before backing out, pecking Sophie on the lips.

“Your chest hurts?” She asked, gently untucking the duvet and rolling up his shirt.The nausea seemed to have passed by this stage, the only pain being the one in his nipples. He hissed as the cold air hit his torso, goosebumps rising as her hand brushed over his slightly bloated stomach. Sophie frowned when she saw his nipples, slightly swollen and puffy, hot when she brushed over them. Louis squirmed, feeling himself grow under the sheets. This was the most action he’d got in three fucking months, not even wanting to jerk off without Harry, and his nipples were so, so sensitive. Sophie’s eyes widened and she quickly drew her hand away, blushing lightly.

“I- I, sorry!” She rushed out, bright red and backing out of the room quickly, nearly tripping over her feet as she went. Louis sighed and leaned back against the pillow, reaching a hand down to take care of his ‘problem’. He tugged himself slowly, closing his eyes and picturing Harry’s hand instead of his own, squeezing lightly on the upstroke like he always did, thumbing the slit, pounding into him. He moaned, hips bucking at the mental image, spare hand fisting the sheets. Panting, Louis moved his hand faster, gathering the pre-come that was collecting in the slit and using it as lubricant to make his hand pump more smoothly. He could already feel the heat in his abdomen, feel his balls tighten, legs tremble. He brought the hand that was fisting the sheets up to his chest, gently flicking over his nipples and all at once he was arching his back, shooting white sticky ropes up his stomach and chest, hips bucking uncontrollably. He gasped, eyes squeezing shut, lights bursting behind his eyelids. When he caught his breath and felt his body relax, he stared at the mess he’d made and groaned, realising he’d have to get up and clean himself off before falling back asleep like he planned.

***

“Louis! Louis! Louis! It’s snowing!” Niall yelled, bursting into Louis’ room and running to the bed, landing with a bounce. Louis’ eyes shot open and he darted up into a sitting position on the sheets before crawling to the window. He clapped his hands and ran around his room, shucking off Harry’s tee that he slept in and pulling on some jeans, a fresh tee shirt and some shoes before basically skipping downstairs, nausea gone. Liam heard him before he saw him, the whoops he was yelling giving him away. Zayn rolled his eyes and unhooked Louis’ coat, hat and gloves, knowing he wouldn’t wear them unless someone actually handed them to him. Sophie was still feeling uncomfortable about what happened earlier and busied herself in editing her essay for her A levels. Louis came bolting down the stairs, snatched the items of clothing Zayn was holding out for him and pulled them on while running, white flecks already sticking to his clothing and skin. Niall closely followed, arms outstretched, head turned to the sky, tongue out. 

***

After ten minutes, the snow fall increased until the whole ground was covered in white, inches deep. Louis reached down and rolled a snowball, aiming it as close to Niall’s head as he could manage. It caught Niall’s cheek, leaving a trail of melting snow falling down his face and down the neck of his tee shirt. He gasped at the cold, eyes scanning the white landscape until he saw Louis laughing at him, pointing a finger at his cheek where the snowball hit. Niall grabbed a handful of snow and launched it at Louis’ laughing form, his face changing from a grin to an ‘o’ of shock in matter of seconds.

“Oh it’s on, Niall. It’s on.” Louis fell to his knees and began shoveling snow in the shape of a fort before building a stack of snowballs and crouching down, not minding the wet cold that seeped through the knees of his jeans and begun to throw the pile of snow he’d gathered at Niall. 

***

Twenty minutes later, both boys were out of snow, going as far as to dissemble their own forts to use as ammunition. Louis thought of Harry then. Thought of Harry firing things so much more dangerous than snowballs. Having them fired at him. Louis flopped back in the snow, relishing in the cold pricking at his skin, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality. He began to lazily move his arms and legs, making an angel shape in the soft snow. Niall laid down next to him, doing the same before carefully standing and jumping out of his angel shape with a smile. He helped Louis out of his and swung an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. 

“He’ll be okay, you know? He always is. Unbeatable that kid.” Niall said with a light chuckle, pulling Louis in tighter. He smiled at the blonde haired boy as their bromance moment was cut short by Zayn, Liam and a timid Sophie following them out front, fully kitted out in snow gear.

“Snowman time!” Liam yelled, clapping his hands, gloves muffling the sound. Louis pulled away from Niall’s embrace, the side of his body that Niall was hugging suddenly cold. Sophie started off the snowman, rolling the ball of snow around the whole yard, making it as big as possible. Niall then started on the body, having decided that he wanted the snowman to be huge. Apparently Niall’s idea of huge consisted of a base, a body and head, plus arms, eyes, buttons, a nose and a mouth. Liam started rolling the head while Zayn gathered materials for its features. Louis stood on the edge of the scene, watching everyone work with a dull ache in his chest. A figure walked past, curly hair just catching Louis’ eye, causing him to whip round, neck clicking painfully at the speed. It wasn’t Harry. Of course it wasn’t. Louis had never really known what it was like to see someone everywhere before Harry. Never understood the movies where the character is dumb enough to think that they see the faces of their lovers on other people. Then he realised that their faces don’t morph or shift creepily like in the films, it’s more subtle, blink and you miss it type of thing. Someone will have the same hair, similar face or height, same colour eyes and Louis will leap to assumptions, more often than not stalking the person until he’s sure it isn't him. 

“Hey.” A hand lands softly on his shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts with a jolt. It’s Sophie, bundled up in mittens and gloves, hat tilted at an angle atop of her head, cheeks rosy from the cold. Louis smiles at her, cheeks heating up as he recalls the earlier situation. 

“Hey.” Louis replies, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets, head turning to face the floor, feet pointing inwards. 

“About earlier,” she pauses, chewing on her lip, not sure how to phrase her words, “look, I like you but not in that way. I- I’m in love with Niall and I’m pretty sure you’re in love with Harry and I don’t want this to make us awkward in anyway shape or form and I’m also pretty sure you don't like me like that but I-” 

“Sophie,” Louis cuts her off with a gloved hand over her mouth, laughing slightly, “I am very much in love with Harry and very sure that I only like you as friend. It’s just they’ve always been sensitive and to be honest with you, that was probably the most action I’ve had in three fucking months. So don’t sweat it, I’m still very gay.” Sophie sighed in relief, shoulders visibly sagging, frown smoothing out.

“Thank God,” she misses a beat, as if almost hesitant to ask, and when she does, her tone is shy, unsure even, “so we’re…good?” Louis laughs aloud, head thrown back before pulling her into a hug.

“Course we’re good, idiot.” He grabs a handful of snow and rubs it in her face before running away, eyes lit up gleefully, grin bright and of course he’s not looking where he’s going so he ends up crashing head first into the snowman. Zayn stops abruptly, items falling from his hand before his face splits into a grin, body doubling over with laughter. Liam looks like a kicked puppy, face shocked, hands suspended in mid air, the position they were before Louis crashed into his masterpiece. Niall stares for a second, as if trying to comprehend the fact that the snowman is no longer a snowman and more like a Snow-Louis. For an awful moment, Louis thinks that Niall might start crying but thankfully he starts laughing, body shaking so hard that he too falls over. Liam crosses his arms, pouting slightly before Zayn pushes him into the pile of snow, his body falling just behind Niall and Louis’ before jumping in himself. Sophie shakes her head and tells them to not move while she dashed in the flat, trekking snow and dirt through up the stairs, to grab the camera.

“Say cheese!” She says with a grin, pressing her finger down on the button, hearing the camera click before the flash goes off, leaving the boys with slightly dazed looks across their faces. She brings the freshly taken picture onto the camera screen and smiles at it, knowing she’s got to make multiple copies of this, maybe frame one or send them out on Christmas cards. Louis is at the front of the snow pile, arms spread wide, eyes tinted red from the dodgy quality of the camera, mouth stretched in a smile, hat leaning precariously to the left, nearly falling off of his head, only one hand having a glove on, the other one probably lost in the snow somewhere. Niall was behind him, chin resting on his head, arms looped around his neck loosely, blonde hair sprinkled with snow, blue eyes glittering with mirth, wearing a matching smile. Liam and Zayn had their chins resting on Niall’s shoulders, arms round each other’s backs, eyes glinting, cheeks rosy and faces happy. Of course the pose didn’t last long after the picture had been taken, all the boys too fidgety to stay still for any length of time and soon they were all trudging back up the stairs and into the flat, ignoring the strange looks they received from their neighbors. 

***

 

Come eleven o’clock, all five of them were sat on various sofas, Christmas movies playing on the small TV, hot chocolates in hands and smiles still etched on their faces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you xx


	5. Day five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Bombshell!

Day 5:

Go iceskating with the lads. Try and let go of the wall this time, yeah? And hey, given that I’m not there this time, you’ll be less likely to break something, eh? 

***

Louis again woke to nausea lurking in the pit of his stomach, squeezing it in knots, tighter and tighter until he was once more running to the bathroom and sitting by the toilet, teeth chattering, hugging himself and desperately wanting Harry. Sophie came in this time and lifted him to his feet, running her fingers through his feathery hair, whispering sweet things to him. She wiped his face, handed him his toothbrush and brought him back out to the sofa, laying him down.

“Oh Louis.” She sighed, lips pursed a frown once again taking over her features. He squeezed his eyes shut, chest throbbing again, stomach still churning. 

“Is he sick again?” Zayn asked, matching Sophie’s frown. She nodded, pressing the back of her hand against his forehead.

“He doesn’t have a fever but look at this.” She rolled up his tee shirt again, careful not to touch this time and Liam gasped, eyes wide. Niall stood up and stretched, walking over to them. On seeing Louis’ nipples, he yelled and jumped back clumsily, ending up on his ass. 

“That isn’t normal.” Liam said, looking at the puffy red nubs, clearly tender. 

“No shit, sherlock!” Niall exclaimed, standing up and rubbing his butt, wincing slightly. Louis pulled back down his tee shirt self consciously, not liking the way they were staring at him.

“His stomach’s also bloated.” Sophie pointed out, pointing at the small strip of Louis’ exposed stomach.

“And he is also right next to you.” Louis snapped, trying to curl in on himself, escape their prying eyes. Sophie sighed and knelt down next to him.

“You need to go to a doctors. This isn’t normal, Lou.” Louis’ eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. He’d always hated the doctors. It had always felt like a prison of sorts with the waiting room chairs, white washed walls and the constant stench of disinfectant. He shuddered. No. He was fine. He didn’t need to go to the doctors. He voiced his opinion to Sophie who sighed once again and shook her head, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, good luck trying to get him anywhere near any doctors or hospital.” Zayn said, tone sounding slightly amused, as if finding the thought of Louis in a doctors office funny.

“Guys. M’fine. Really. It went away yesterday after like what, an hour? If it comes back later on today, I’ll go. Anyway! I wanna go iceskating!” Louis reassured, pouting at the last part. It came as no surprise that he had memorised Harry’s instructions as he must’ve read through it at least four times a day. 

Caving, Sophie stood and fitted her frame under Niall’s arm, whispering something that Louis couldn’t quite catch. Niall nodded and took the boys out of the room, talking about showing them something. He never had been a good actor nor a good liar.

“I’m gonna ask you some questions okay, Louis?” Sophie asked, pulling up a chair next to the sofa he was currently situated on. It wasn’t a question, not really, it was a statement and Louis had no choice but to meekly nod his head with a sigh.

“The bloating,” she said, pointing to his stomach, “is it painful?” He frowned lightly, focusing on his abdomen before nodding.

“Not much, but it hurts a bit.” Sophie nodded and continued asking him questions that, to be frank, made him feel a little uncomfortable. Things like whether he’d had an upset stomach, whether he’d been breaking out more, backaches, dizziness, insomnia, fatigue, all of which he answered yes to. By the time she was asking what felt like the one hundredth question, Louis was getting irritable, snapping every answer, feeling the urge to scream. 

“I- I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Louis. I mean, it sounds exactly like you’re on your period but that can’t be possible.” She sighed, frowning as if she were working out a mathematical problem in her head. 

“Well I’m clearly not so can we please drop it and go out?” He snapped, standing up and walking out of the living room and to his own room. The other three boys returned, having eavesdropped on most of the conversation. After a good ten minute debate, it was Zayn who suggested just leaving it and going iceskating. After all, the last thing that they all wanted was to make Louis sad. It seems that they realised that a little too late as muffled sobs could be heard coming from the bedroom. Sophie’s expression turned to one of guilt. Niall saw and wrapped her in a hug, whispering that it wasn't her fault and that Louis was just really emotional these past couple of weeks.

Zayn was the one who timidly knocked on Louis door, only to be greeted with a sobbing Louis launching himself into his arms. Zayn stumbled slightly with the force but soon steadied himself, hugging the older boy back tightly, alternating between rubbing his back and carding his fingers through his caramel hair. When Louis’ sobs had calmed, Zayn pulled away and wiped the shorter boy’s eyes, gently thumbing over his cheek bones.

“Soph, you pack up the car and get dressed for iceskating. I’ll get Lou cleaned up.” Sophie nodded and soon her, Liam and Niall were picking up their clothes from the floor where they’d discarded them last whilst getting ready for bed.

“These’ll have to do,” Sophie muttered, pressing the fabric to her nose, “we don't have any other clothing here. We need to bring round a suitcase or something really.” Niall murmured his agreement, pulling his own tee shirt and jeans on before grabbing his wallet and keys, waiting for the other four. Sophie was done next, after brushing her hair and cleaning her teeth, she was once again tucked under Niall’s arm, nuzzling in against his chest. Liam came out into the hall holding several carrier bags.

“Dirty washing and some food.” He explained seeing their quizzical expressions. When Louis and Zayn emerged, Louis looked much better, eyes no longer red, cheeks their normal tan colour and no longer blotchy. Zayn flashed them a grin and led the group down to the car, making sure they had everything they needed before hopping behind the wheel and starting up the vehicle.

***

The actual ice rink itself wasn't that big, but the complex around it was huge, containing shops and restaurants for what seemed like miles. Soon, all five of them were strapped up in their ice-skates and stumbling on the ice, Louis clutching onto the wall for dear life. In fact, the only one who was any good at it was surprisingly Liam who was gliding around the rink with ease. Zayn stared open mouthed, shaking his head and trying to copy Liam’s movements. Niall and Sophie weren't even trying at this stage, just happy wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing the occasional kiss, still very much in the honey moon phase of their relationship.   
Pushing away from the wall, Louis tried to gain his balance on the ice, arms outstretched, body swaying precariously. His ice-skates slipped around on the ice, unable to keep grip standing still so he started waddling across the ice, eyes focused intently on his feet, determined not to fall over this time.

“Oi, mate! Be careful, yeah?” Louis heard Liam yell and suddenly he was right behind him, a grin flashing across his face before he was gliding off again, looping around the rink in figure of eights. Louis stared at Liam’s feet, watched how they pushed out before gliding, before looking back down at his own and trying to replicate the movements. Of course it was easier said than done and before he knew what was happening, he’d overshot the pushing out movement and was spiralling downwards, the ice coming up to meet his face at an alarming rate. He vaguely heard Liam’s worried shout, followed by Zayn’s yell before he blacked out, pain thrumming through his body.

***

Louis’ head was pounding, his bones were aching and his stomach was cramping in such a manner that he wanted to cry out. Groggily he opened his eyes, only to snap them shut again at the first sign of bright, white lights. 

“Hey! Hey Ni! Call the nurse! He’s up!” Louis heard Liam yell and he winced from the extra pain that caused for his head. He still had no idea where he was, brain unable to comprehend words or sights. 

“Louis? Louis honey? I’m going to need you to open your eyes for me, alright?” He heard an unfamiliar tone coo softly, followed by a hand on his shoulder, reassuringly squeezing. Taking a deep breath, he willed his eyes open, feeling them sticking slightly before he was once again flooded with light, painfully bright. 

“There’s a good boy.” The voice spoke again, softly rubbing his arm. He was starting to be able to make out shapes now, blurred figures, objects rattling by, the bed that he was currently situated on. His mind felt foggy, like his brain was made entirely of cotton wool and his tongue was too heavy and too big for his mouth.

“Can you tell me your name?” The person that Louis had now worked out was a nurse said again, eyes meeting his own.

“L-Louis, Louis Tomlinson.” He croaked, voice rough from disuse. He heard several sighs of relief and the nurse gave him a look full of praise.

“Very good, Louis. Can you remember what happened?” She asked him yet another question and he just wanted her to leave him alone so he could sleep or maybe cry from the immense pain he was feeling. 

“I- I was iceskating.” He sighed out, wincing with a slight groan.

“You’re in pain?” She asked, reaching over towards his IV and increasing the morphine dose.

“Yeah, my head and my stomach.” He groaned, arms wrapping around his abdomen as it cramped sickeningly.

“You’re head is normal, took a blow when you fell, but your stomach?” She shook her head and started to wheel his bed away from the wall and towards the door.

“Where are you taking him?” Zayn asked, jumping up from the hard hospital chair he was previously sitting in and walking alongside Louis’ bed.

“To have an ultrasound. Abdominal pain could indicate internal bleeding. We need to check it out.” The nurse explained, voice hurried, pace increasing as the made it out the room and into the seemingly never ending hallways.

“B-but he hit his head, not his stomach.” Zayn stated with a frown, reaching down and taking hold of Louis’ hand, as if the mere touch would keep him anchored. The nurse sighed and shook her head.

“Has he had any other symptoms of sickness?” She asked, waving over at another member of staff who quickly ushered them through another door.

“He’s been being sick first thing in the mornings, headaches and his- his chest is all…” He tailed off, not really sure how to describe what was wrong with his best mate, worry laced thickly in his voice. The nurse nodded and pursed her lips before pushing Louis into an ultrasound room, rolling up his shirt and applying a cold, sticky substance, which had Louis gasping at the temperature. She flicked on a screen and a pixilated image flashed up before she placed the ultrasound wand over Louis’ abdomen, searching for any signs of damage or bleeding before stopping, eyes wide, facial expression shocked.

‘W-well the good news is that there is no signs of internal bleeding, b-but, it appears t-that h-he’s… pregnant?” She reported, tone disbelieving and questioning, placing down the wand.

“What?!” Louis exclaimed. The nurse shook her head before dashing out of the room only to appear with another member of staff, a doctor this time. He looked young, mid twenties at most, black hair neatly styled, face cleanly shaven. He picked the wand back up and recalled the image on the screen, eyebrows drawn together before smoothing out, a smile on his face as he turned to Louis.

“Congratulations, Mr. Tomlinson, it appears you’re expecting. You should also have noticed that the pain the nurse was telling me about has passed. The baby was in an awkward position before, it seems to have straightened itself out.” He stated with a sense of finality, hitting a button on the machine and waiting as it printed out two copies of the image on the screen. Louis was too dumbfounded to even comprehend what was happening, let alone able to form any proper words. Zayn asked for him instead, sounding just as confused as Louis felt.

“H-how is that even possible? It is, isn’t it? Possible, that is? Of course it is, he’s pregnant. I’m sorry I’m rambling just how?” The doctor chuckled lightly, handing them each a copy of the ultrasound, Louis only just being able to take it with a shaky hand, his eyes scanning the picture, drinking in the fact that he was pregnant. That this was his baby.

“Relax, Mr…” The doctor trailed off, unsure of Zayn’s name.

“Zayn, Zayn Malik.” He answered. 

“Well, Mr. Malik, this is a very uncommon phenomena but not impossible. It’s also very common for parents to be confused upon hearing the news.” He continued, making Louis splutter, a sense of sanity returning to him as he gasped out a,

“He-he’s not my boyfriend.” At the very same time Zayn said,

“We’re not together.” The doctor blushed a deep red and ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh wow, I’m sorry, I just assumed…” 

“It’s fine, really,” Louis replied, offering a small smile, “h-how far along am I?”

“Around three months, or twelve weeks.” Louis let out a relieved sigh, shoulders sagging.

“S-so, if I haven’t had sex with anyone else other than my boyfriend it’s definitely his?” Louis asked, blushing painfully hard.

“Of course! It works just the same way as female pregnancy. We can also tell you the gender if you so wish.” The doctor confirmed, a small smile playing on his lips. Louis looked to Zayn, unsure of what to do. Zayn shrugged, as if saying, ‘it’s your choice, bro’.

“C-can we find out later? W-when my boyfriend’s back?” Louis asked shyly, not wanting to find out without Harry by his side. 

“I don’t see why not. Now, male pregnancy’s require much more attention than female ones as the male body is not designed to cope with this form of reproduction. I would suggest having a scan every other week,” the doctor handed him a leaflet and a card before continuing, “I also understand that you’d probably like complete confidentiality, so here’s my card. Call me anytime you have any questions and the leaflet I gave you should fill you in slightly more than I’ve been able to anyway.” Louis nodded his thanks, still trying to comprehend, the information that is being thrown at him in every which way. 

“Can he leave? Like, go home?” Zayn asked, signaling to where Louis’ eyes were starting to droop slightly.

“I don’t see why not. His head doesn't seem to have any major trauma and he seems to be able to form comprehendible sentences.” The doctor replied, signing a slip of paper that allowed them to leave.

“And the sickness and tenderness of my chest, that’s normal?” Louis asked sleepily, clutching the picture, card and leaflet tightly.

“Very normal. Everything should be in that leaflet and if it’s not, you've got my card. Now, let’s focus on getting you home.” The doctor said, wheeling Louis back to his room, Zayn following closely behind.

•••

Louis ended up falling asleep on the way back, leaving Zayn to stumble through an explanation of what was explained to them. No one left again that night apart from to grab a suitcase of clean clothes and their own toothbrushes. They all fell asleep on top of one another on the double bed, carefully situating themselves around Louis’ stomach, careful to not knock it in any way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay lovely babes xx


	6. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions razor blades and past self harm. Please read at your own risk. If you need any help never hesitate to ask me. Enjoy! x

Day 6:

Only five more days until your birthday! Twenty three, Lou. You’re getting old, baby. I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I say that. Today I want you to flush your blades. I know it’s hard, honey. And I really hope you haven’t used them since I’ve left. If you haven’t, I’m so, so proud of you. If you have, then I am so sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me. Please make sure that you keep the cuts clean. If you get sick and I’m not there, I will never forgive myself. If you've done this, and if you have, I am so fucking proud of you, call your mum and my mum. Hell, even if you didn't flush them, call our mum’s. I’m guessing you'll need the comfort. 

***

Louis didn’t wake up to nausea this time, instead it was Niall’s foot which had somehow found its way into his mouth in the night. Louis gagged and removed it from his body, scrunching his nose in disgust at the taste. A quick scan of the bed confirmed that the other four were still asleep, leaving him to get up alone. It was like his mind knew, like his subconscious knew what was happening today, what Harry had asked him to do before he was even aware of what day it was. And maybe it was his hormones, or maybe it was the fear of not knowing what he’d do without his razors, but he started to cry then. Tears streaming down his face as he padded into the kitchen, hands clamped over his mouth in attempt to keep from making sound. 

***

In the end, it was Sophie who found him, arms around his stomach protectively, collapsed on the kitchen floor, body racking with sobs. She didn't ask any questions, she never did, just helped him up and guided him over to the sofa, pulling him into a hug, holding him close until his sobs slowed and his breathing evened out.

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” She asked, gently rubbing firm circles on his back, other hand carding through the hair at the nape of his neck, lightly tugging reassuringly. He shrugged and nuzzled further into her embrace, not quite willing to let go yet. 

They remained that way for just over five minutes, neither one of them talking, until Louis pulled back and wiped his eyes, adding to the redness already there. 

“H-he wants me to flush my blades today.” Louis whispered, voice hoarse from emotion. 

“And you don’t want to?” She asked, tilting her head to one side as if analysing the statement as best she could without upsetting him further. He shrugged, head facing the ground, arms wrapped around himself as if they were the only thing holding himself together. 

“I-I do, but, I don’t know if I can. And, and it’s stupid because I haven’t used them in six months but they’re my safety net. I mean, what happens if I need them again?” He mumbled, not really wanting to discuss this part of his life with another person other than Harry. 

“Then we’ll be here for you. I’m not gonna lie to you, Louis. It’s not an easy thing to do. It took me weeks to pluck up the courage. And yeah, you feel the urge to cut more when you know you can’t anymore but you can’t give in, Lou. Six months. Six fucking months. That’s one hundred and eighty two days. You don’t wanna break that streak. You really don’t. And what about Harry? He’s asking you to do this, he knows you’re strong enough, and I do too. What about your baby, Louis? What if he or she one day finds your scars and asks about them. What then? What if they grow up to think that cutting is okay because they've seen the scars on their daddy. And you could never tell them otherwise without being hypocritical. Think about that.” By the time she’d finished, Louis was wiping fresh tears from his eyes and nodding, standing shakily, keeping a hand on his stomach, rubbing his thumb over the slightly stretched skin that lay there. 

“I’ll go get everyone up and out for a bit. I know you’ll want to do this alone.” Sophie stated, tone informing and not to be reasoned with. He gave her a small smile in thanks and wandered into the kitchen, flicking the kettle on and waiting for it to boil. He thought about what Sophie had said, about how his kid, Harry’s kid, might grow up thinking self harm was okay. That wasn’t okay. That really wasn’t. Louis took a deep breath and shakily poured himself a cuppa before sitting at the table, warming his hands on the china. 

It was as if time was set to fast forward, like he was in one of those movies where everything rushed around in a blur but he stayed in focus, perfectly still, eyes glued to his mug of nearly cold tea. He vaguely noticed the four rushing around him, acknowledged the pat on the back Zayn gave him and felt Liam when he ruffled his hair, felt and heard Niall hug him while whispering a hurried ‘good luck’ in his ear. It wasn’t until he heard the front door click shut and he was sure that he was alone that he moved, standing up, legs aching from sitting in the same position for such a length of time. 

Wandering around the house, he collected up all his razors from all his hiding places. In the box under his bed, behind the loose tile in the bathroom, hidden in various books, the list was almost endless. When he was sure he had gathered all of them, he clenched them in his fist, feeling the sharp edges pressing into the palm of his hand and made himself walk into the bathroom, the toilet seeming like his biggest threat in the world. Squeezing his eyes shut, he inhaled deeply through his nose and forced his feet to move forward until his knees were pressed against the toilet seat, the cold seeping through the pair of Harry’s pyjama pants he was wearing. Opening his hand to reveal the the pile of blades, he tipped them upside down and watched them fall into the basin of the toilet, landing with small splashes. His hand was stained with small cuts and droplets of blood from where he’d been holding onto them so tightly. 

He didn’t actually flush them for a good ten minutes, just stared at them, body urging him to fish them out, mind reminding him about how pathetic and useless he was, thighs and wrists itching to be scratched at. Louis didn’t know he was crying until the first tear dropped onto the white tiles below, splashing up before pooling out once again, followed by several more. He just wanted Harry. He wanted Harry to hold him, to tell him it’d all be okay, that he was strong enough to do this. In the end, it was the thought of his baby that made his put his hand on the flusher and press down. The thought of its happy face morphing into one of sadness as he realised what the cuts meant. He thought of how Harry would look at him with big, sad eyes, full of disappointment and hurt as he had to explain to it why he should never start cutting like his father. The blades swirled around in the basin, the water carrying them in circles around the toilet before sucking them down and settling again. 

***

Louis knew Sophie would be gone a long time with the other boys, knowing he’d still have to call his and Harry’s mums so he picked up the phone and slid down the bathroom doorframe, a strange calm settling over him as he dialled his mum’s number. She picked up on the fifth ring, a baby crying in the background. Louis smiled, suddenly feeling slightly guilty that it had been four months since he’d visited.

“Hello?” She said a little breathlessly, clearly trying to calm down the baby while doing other things.

“Hi, mum, it’s uh- it’s me.” Louis stuttered foolishly, clearing his throat and feeling his face burn. Okay, strike the previous comment, he was feeling incrediblyguilty about not seeing his family.

“Louis! Honey! How are you?” Her voice perked up, sounding happier suddenly, calmer almost. Louis wanted to kick himself. While she was at home looking after four to six kids, he had sodded off with his boyfriend and let himself become so self obsessed with his own sorrow that he hadn’t even tried to make time to visit.

“I-I’m good, really sorry for not visiting. I- I’ve been a little caught up in things.” He explained, hoping it was an okay excuse.

“Oh boo, it’s fine! Don’t be silly, baby. I know you've been stressed, what with your own health and Harry being gone. You can take as much time as you need, although, a call or even a text would have been nice, just to reassure me that you were alright.” She said, sniffing towards the ends, a male voice in the background which he recognised as his step-father’s while his mum presumably handed over the baby.

“I’m sorry, mum, really. But I’m alright, better than, actually.” He said with a small smile, spare hand caressing his stomach.

“Oh that’s great, Lou. What’s happened then to make you so happy?” She inquired and Louis knew what was coming, knew she wouldn't judge, but his heart was pounding all the same. Taking a deep breath, (he’d been doing a lot of that lately), he answered her question. Well, sort of. He wanted to wait for Harry before he started telling people, wait until they were back together. 

“Just the boys and Sophie have been a great help and it’s making me feel better and Harry’s letter was sad but reassuring. Speaking of whom, he’s not gonna be back for Christmas, they’re keeping him longer, but he wrote me and he’s given me a list of things to do and today I- I flushed my blades.” 

He rushed out, knowing the topic of his self harm and depression upset his mother and he didn't want to particularly remind himself that Harry wasn’t coming back in time for the holidays.

“You- you f-flushed your blades? All of them?” She asked, tone tight and high.

“Yeah. All of them.” He replied, a surge of self pride coursing through him.

“Oh, oh thank God. Louis, I- I’m so proud of you. Really, boo.” She breathed, voice smoothing out to it’s normal tone once more. 

“I- It wasn't me, not really, it was Harry’s request.” He replied, sounding love struck even to his own ears.

“Alright! I’m coming! Sorry, honey, that’s your step-dad, I gotta go, but Lou, it doesn't matter who's idea it was. It was you who chose to do it. You who had the strength. Remember that. I love you, sweetie.” She rushed, Louis now hearing both babies crying and he barely had time to say an ‘I love you too’ before the line went dead. He didn’t know how he was going to call Harry’s mum but he felt so proud of himself and genuinely happy for once since Harry left. He realised he was becoming too dependant on Harry for his happiness and although that was all very well while he was around, he needed to be able to cope and be happy even when he was gone. 

He hadn’t even realised that he had dialled Anne’s number but soon enough the phone was ringing, startling him out of his thoughts. 

“Hello?” It wasn’t Anne who picked up, instead it was Gemma and Louis couldn't help but smile.

“Gemma, hi.” The other end of the line went silent for a few beats and Louis was about to check his connection when she spoke up again.

“Louis William Tomlinson, where the fuck have you been? You and my fucking brother. Four months. Four. No calls, no texts, nothing. Mum’s been worried sick about you two, you know you’re like a son to her.” Louis tried to stifle a laugh, knowing she’d only rant more if she heard him laughing at her. 

“I’m sorry, Gem. Been a bit chaotic, huh?” He asked rhetorically, the question more addressed to himself than anyone else in all honesty.

“Damn right,” her tone softened a bit, “you know he’s coming back late right? Like not in time for Christmas.”

“Yeah. He wrote me six days ago, told me he’ll be back a few weeks after he'd originally planned. But I guess I can cope, grown man and all.” He cracked a smile, even though he knew she couldn't see.

“Good for you, mate. I take it you wanna talk to mum but she's out, went on holiday yesterday actually. She’ll be back on the twenty third. So, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. And I’m not letting you leave until you fill me in on the last four months.”

So that’s how Louis spent the rest of his time before the others got back. Talking on the phone with Gemma, laughing over stupid memories that they both had of Harry, and Louis knew, well, he hoped, but it sounded like she needed this as much as he did.

***  
It wasn’t until the other four returned back to the flat that Louis and Gemma said their goodbye’s, Louis ending the phone call with a smile on his face that hadn't been that bright for months. Niall reflected his happiness, all but skipping over to the Xbox and turning on the FIFA game, handing Louis the other controller and vowing that he’d kick Louis’ arse. Liam brought through some beer which Louis declined snapping at Liam about how he should know that drinking while being pregnant damages the baby before muttering an apology and accepting the tea Sophie made him instead. 

***  
After five games, two wrestling matches between Liam and Niall, three sarcastic remarks from Sophie, Louis was fast asleep, the baby wearing him out more and more, with a smile on his face and the game controller hugged to his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm always here for you to talk to. Just ask. I love you xx


	7. Day Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little filler really. The next five days will be longer and more detailed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! xx

Day 7

Spend this day in bed. Watch sappy romance movies like we used to, point out all your favourite parts like you always do. Dance around crazily and sing Christmas songs at the top of your lungs. Have fun, sweetie.

***

With the thought playing on his mind that he didn't have to do anything today apart from relax, Louis allowed himself to lie in until midday, Liam having moved him to his bed. When he finally came round, it was to the sun peeping in through his curtains and the smell of freshly cooked bacon sizzling downstairs. His mouth turned up into a smile, the baby and his hormones deciding to give him a break with the sickness the past couple of mornings. According to the leaflet, which Louis had read religiously, morning sickness in males would come and go every few days, sometimes leaving for whole weeks at a time, which, okay, was a nice plus side to his pregnancy. What wasn't so nice was his aching feet and back, not to mention is stomach cramping. 

Standing up heavily, he rubbed his hand over his slight bump as a good morning to his unborn child before walking out into the living room and finding the boys sat down, taking turns on the Xbox, Sophie presumably cooking the food he was smelling.

“Trying to practise so you can beat me, Ni?” Louis teased, flopping down on the sofa next to Zayn and taking the controller from his hands, beating Niall within a matter of minutes. They were about to start a new game when Sophie yelled to them that breakfast was served and if they ‘didn’t get their arse in there within the next five minutes, she was eating the food herself’, which naturally, made Niall scream and run into the kitchen, grabbing his knife and fork and banging them against the table chanting ‘food’. Sophie whacked him upside the head and made a big show of serving everyone else as they filed in and left him until last which had him grumbling and complaining until she gave him an extra slice of bacon. He smiled and pecked her on the lips as she sat down next him, digging into her own breakfast. 

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Liam asked, politely wiping his mouth and carrying his plate over to the sink before sitting back down and folding his hands awaiting replies.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. A couple films here and there, Christmas songs of course, maybe some games. Nothing boring.” Louis told him, everyone turning to look at Liam as the last part was spoken which made him sigh and raise his hands as if in a shrug.

“Scrapbooking is not boring!” He defended, lips turning into a pout and crossing his arms. 

“Sorry mate, but yeah, yeah it is.” Niall said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and pushing his plate into the middle of the table. The other three finished soon after, the conversation light and easy, natural even. 

“Who’s up for some more FIFA?” Louis asked, a devilish glint in his eyes.

“I wanna play this time. Understood?” Sophie said, pointing at the boys and glaring at them.

“Zayn and I can’t stay for long anyways, Lou. Sophia and Perrie are back from their holiday today and we promised we’d meet up with them.” Liam informed, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at Zayn.

“Finally! Some other girls!” Sophie said, throwing her hands up and sighing with a slight shake of her head.

“Go with them, Soph. Louis and I will be good here, won’t we mate?” Niall slung an arm around his shoulders and ruffled his hair before pressing a friendly kiss to his cheek, laughing when Louis pulled back and wiped his cheek furiously with his sleeve.

“Ew gross! Niall slobber!” He complained, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“You know, I might just take up that offer.” She said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at the boy’s antics.

“Okay! That’s settled then! We need to leave in around an hour if we’re going to get there in time. It’s what? Half one now? We need to be there by three so a half hour drive to the airport.” Zayn calculated, staring at the clock on the wall.

“So, what I heard was that we have an hour for FIFA!” Louis yelled and ran to the sofa, picking up the controller and un pausing the game. 

***  
After the three had left to go to the airport, Niall and Louis were left to their own devices, which probably wasn't the smartest idea in the whole world. They'd already trashed the kitchen in an attempt to make omelettes but after the fourth failed attempt they gave in and ordered Chinese which, strangely was what Louis was craving. 

“Looouis! I’m bored!” Niall complained for what felt like the fiftieth time in ten minutes, putting down the empty Chinese takeout box on the table.

“Jesus, how does Sophie put up with you?” Louis asked himself, pinching the bridge of his nose and cradling his head.

“I’m sick of FIFA now… And Chinese. The snow’s all melted and we have no money left.” Niall whined frowning as he realised there was literally nothing to do. Neither one of them were in the mood for Christmas songs, having both heard them too much and being too tired to sing anything. 

“Let’s watch some Christmas movies, crack open some beers, well, for you anyways, and take a nap. Can’t be that long till they’re back.” Louis reasoned. 

***  
Okay, Louis was wrong. Apparently he’d overestimated how long the others would take and soon they'd worked their way through two movies, three TV show seasons and Niall had drunk a whole pack of beer. Louis stared at the litter around the living room and sighed, letting his head fall back against the sofa before picking it up and dropping it again. 

“Louis! It’s nearly nine o’clock and they’re still not back!” Niall murmured into Louis’ shoulder, crawling on top of him and leaning against him.

“I don’t know what to do, Niall. I’m not magic if you haven’t noticed.” Louis replied dryly, frankly a little sick of his friend’s behaviour by this point. 

“Let’s watch a Harry Potter. Can’t go wrong there.” Niall suggested with a smile, words slightly slurred. Louis sighed and got up from the couch, knowing that Niall wouldn’t, and popped in the disc before resuming his previous place.

And that’s how they fell asleep, Harry Potter playing to itself in the background, Niall wrapping himself around Louis, snoring from time to time and nearly falling off the sofa a few times but it was better than nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said just a little filler like I said before, the other chapters will be longer, I promise. I promise things will get better if they're tough xx


	8. Day Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little more background into Niall's relationship and just more dialogue overall. Hope you enjoy!! xx

Day 8

Go grocery shopping. I know, I know boring, right? Wrong. Buy things for Christmas cookies, spices, icing, those little silver balls I know you love. Go wild. But don’t bake them. That’s for tomorrow. 

***

It was an early morning for all of them. Like really, really early. Like, so early that Louis took one look out the window and hit Niall for waking him. 

“Louis. There’s someone in the flat. Listen.” Niall hissed, clutching his knees to his chest. Louis rolled his eyes and rolled over, burying his face under the pillow.

“It’s probably just someone coming home drunk or summat.” He mumbled, patting the sliver of space next to him as an indication for Niall to go back to sleep. 

“It’s not though! Listen!” Niall insisted, poking Louis’ back until he reluctantly sat up and listened. His ears began to feel strained from listening so intently, the only sounds he could hear being their own breathing and the hum of the TV which had turned itself off in the night. Well, earlier in the night given the current time. 

“I don’t hear anything.” Louis whispered back, laying down again and wrapping an arm around his stomach.

“Well I do and I’m checking it out.” Niall muttered, standing up and grabbing his phone to use the torch on that. Louis rolled his eyes and allowed himself to drift back to sleep only to be awoken by a scream four minutes later.

“God sakes, Sophie! Ever heard of a key?!” Louis heard Niall hiss, followed by Sophie voice and two other more masculine ones which he placed as Liam and Zayn’s.

“Look, if you guys are being murdered, please do it quietly. It’s still dark outside and I’m trying to sleep.” Louis said, voice sounding too loud as if slicing through the silence that hung around his flat. He heard someone laugh follow by a muttered insult and soon approaching footsteps.

“Great to know how helpful you'd be in a break in, Tommo.” Niall whispered, taking up his old place next to Louis.

“You guys do know that there is a perfectly good bed not even thirty steps away?” Zayn questioned, tone disbelieving as he watched the two awkwardly share a sofa. 

“But it’s so far away.” Louis complained, yawning as he felt himself falling asleep again for the second time since his rude awakening. He vaguely heard someone mutter something and Niall snoring before the darkness of sleep pulled him under.

***  
The next time he woke up, it was at a sensible time in a sensible way. Well, strike the second part. It was actually to Sophie yelling at Niall about the state of the kitchen. Groaning, he threw a pillow in the vague direction of the kitchen door and yelled at them to shut up.

“No, I will not ‘shut up,” Sophie said, picking up the pillow and throwing it onto the closest sofa, “this flat is a tip and I am not tidying it up.” 

“T’was Niall’s fault.” Louis mumbled sleepily, yawning slightly and stretching, rubbing his stomach, making sure his baby felt okay this morning. Sophie’s eyes softened at the sight but she stood firm.

“No. You and him are both to blame. You’re both tidying up this flat and then I’ll think about taking you shopping for the supplies for the cookies. Liam and Zayn have gone back to their girlfriends for now but they’ll be back later… hopefully.” She added the last past as an afterthought, rubbing her temples slightly.

“Okay fine. But I can’t lift anything. Pregnant and all.” Louis said, motioning to his stomach and rubbing his thumb across the skin. She gave him a quizzical look, eyebrows drawn together.

“Why would you need to lift anything?” 

“I probably won’t. Just being informative for the future.” He replied with a shrug, standing up and cracking out his spine. She shook her head and rubbed between her eyes, sighing heavily.

“For the love of God, it’s like living with two kids half the time. Look, do whatever you want as long as it involves tidying this goddamn flat. I’m taking a bath, my head is killing me.” With that, she turned her back and walked into the bathroom, locking it with a click. 

“I guess we should tidy, huh?” Niall asked, walking into the living room, a sheepish look on his face, clearly feeling slightly guilty about pissing off his girlfriend like that.

“Yeah. Yeah we should.” Louis replied, leaning down to pick up the empty Chinese boxes from the table and shoving them in the bin. 

So that’s how the boys spent the best part of an hour, running around trying to tidy up the mess that they'd made last night, although neither one of them were quite sure how to fix the kitchen, in Louis’ eyes, it was beyond repair. Niall suggested that they call a professional cleaner which is around the time Louis pointed out that they had Sophie for that. Unfortunately for him, that was also around the time that Sophie finally decided her bath was over and just happened to overhear that statement which earned him a smack upside the head.

***  
Niall and Louis had tried to clean up the flat, they really had, but their idea of tidying up was shoving things out of sight and hoping no one notices. There were still empty boxes behind the sofa and TV, beer bottles hidden in the most bizarre places, (Sophie blames Niall for that one), and the kitchen looked like a bomb had touched down. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but it’s good enough.” She sighed, shaking her head and raising her eyebrows. That statement got her a hug and kiss from Niall and a peck on the cheek from Louis as well as a light ruffle of her hair which she immediately fixed back into place. 

“Does that mean we can go shopping?” Louis asked, eyes wide and pleading, lips in a pout.

“Again, can’t believe I’m saying this but yes. We can go shopping.” Louis clapped his hands and ran to get changed, Niall following him, a smile on his features.

***  
“Louis for the love of God, put down the DVD. No Niall, we cannot buy more beer! Jesus Christ am I invisible?!” Sophie all but yelled, resisting the urge to rip her hair out. Both boys put the items they were holding in the trolley despite her attempts to stop them. She looked at the DVD Louis had put in and scoffed.

“Louis. ‘The Notebook’, really? Like, I know you're pregnant and all but Jesus.”

“It’s one of Harry’s favourites…” He tailed off, blue eyes turning shiny with tears, bottom lip trembling slightly between his teeth.

“Oh baby no! Don’t cry! You can get it!” Sophie backtracked, feeling her heart break just looking at him. He sniffed and nodded, solemnly walking off and high-fiving Niall behind her back, blinking away the fake tears.

“Does that mean I can get the beer? Cause that’s also Harry’s favourite.” Niall tried to copy Louis’ actions, Sophie rolling her eyes and shaking her head before walking on, leaving the beer still in the trolley.

“Now, can we please get what we came for?” She asked, only realising that the boys weren't with her and instead finding new items to buy. She pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in deeply to stop herself from screaming.

***  
After a good half an hour, Sophie for the most trying to keep composed and not scream at the boys, they finally had everything the came for and around a trolley full of extra things. 

“You do realise I’m not made of money, right?” Sophie sighed, knowing that she wouldn't get an answer anyway and joined the line, waiting to pay. 

“You sound like my mum.” Niall said walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“I feel like you’re mother.” She retorted, leaning back into his touch all the same.

“Can you guys stop this? Feeling alone over here.” Louis pouted, remembering times when Harry hugged him like that. Niall rolled his eyes and pulled away, throwing his arm around Louis’ shoulder instead.

“He’ll be back in like two days, Lou.” Niall reasoned, panic flashing across his face for a split second before he smoothed it back out.

“You mean two weeks?” Louis asked frowning, wondering what Niall was on about.

“Two days, two weeks. It’s the same thing.” Niall said, shrugging and ruffling Louis’ hair.

“I can so tell that you were the top of your class.” Louis replied, smiling slightly.

***  
“Why can’t we just make them now again?” Liam asked, him and Zayn having been back for the last few hours.

“Because,” Louis started and the others groaned, saying the words in sync with him, “the letter says to wait until tomorrow.” 

“Yes, we got that, but the letter isn't the fucking bible, mate.” Zayn said, shaking his head and reclining on the sofa, an arm thrown over his face.

“No, but it’s Harry.” Louis replied as if that was the answer to all the world wonders. Niall rolled his eyes and pulled Sophie onto his lap, nuzzling into her neck before planting a kiss over her pulse point. Louis fake gagged before sitting up and leaning forward, eyes suddenly interested.  
 “How did you two even meet, anyway? I mean, I remember Ni coming back a couple days after Harry left and telling me that he’d met someone but he never said how.”

Sophie gasped, feigning hurt and slapped him playfully.

“And here I was, telling Holly all about you until God knows what time.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“Holly?” Liam asked, head tilting to one side.

“Her best friend,” Niall answered for her, taking a deep breath before continuing, “and I’ll tell you the story, although I must warn you it’s not quite as romantic as yours and Harry’s, though nothing can top that. It was actually at a college party. Like, I knew a guy and she had a friend a couple years above her that got her in and bam! The rest was history.” He told them, finishing with a gesture to where she sat on his lap.

“Wow. My boyfriend the poet.” She said dryly, not amused by the way he told it.

“Tell us how it really happened then.” Zayn replied, newfound interest making her copy Louis and lean forward.

“Am I the only one that feels like Soph and Ni are the grandparents and we’re the grandkids?” Louis asked, grinning lopsidedly. Niall cracked up, shaking his head before clearing his throat as Sophie shot him a look and let her tell the story.

“It was a rainy Tuesday and-”

“Cliché much?” Louis snorted, tone light.

“If one more person interrupts me I won’t tell it,” she warned before picking up where she’d left off, “anyways, as I was saying, it was a rainy Tuesday and I was working on my A level biology paper when Holly calls me, saying that her friend’s brother who was a couple years older than us got us a free pass to a college party. Of course I was reluctant to go and frankly a little surprised because Holly is probably the most antisocial person I know but who was I to turn down a freaking college party, so, I accepted. Later that night, we showed up on campus and followed the sound of yelling and music, the flashing lights also helped, and soon we were in the dorm. Now, it wasn't love at first sight or anything, in fact it took me a while to even notice him, which is unusual for love stories but in this case it’s true, but he was out on the balcony, smoking actually which would've put me off if he didn't seem so… so enticing. It’s hard to explain but he looked like something out of a movie, all dressed up in that fucking leather jacket, the cigarette lit between his fingers, smoke wafting around him. So I went up and awkwardly said ‘hi’ and now, the rest is history.” She finished, shrugging and leaning back against his chest, giggling as he nuzzled into her neck further. 

“Aww!” Liam nearly cooed before he caught himself and blushed.

“Not very Romeo and Juliet is it?” Louis asked, snorting slightly.

“Well I’m sorry that not everyone can have such a romantic story as you.” Sophie said, sarcasm lacing her tone. Louis rolled his eyes and leaned into Zayn, resting his head on his shoulder before yawning.

“I suggest that we all sleep in the bed tonight, rather than crashing on the couch for the tenth time.” Zayn suggested, carding his fingers through Louis’ hair lightly, smiling at the content sounds he was giving off.

“And I also suggest that you don’t leave me alone here with these two again, nearly ripped my hair out.” Sophie recalled, shuddering slightly at the memory. 

“But I love your hair!” Niall gasped, wrapping a strand of her long, blonde hair around his fingers. She smiled and kissed his cheek, giggling at the way he blushed lightly under her gaze and touch.

“I’m gonna get this one to bed, look at him.” Zayn said, lightly picking Louis up.

“Harry.” Louis mumbled, nuzzling into Zayn, fisting his tee shirt and gripping him tighter. Zayn’s heart swelled with affection for the older boy and he planted a kiss atop of his head, holding him closer.

“He misses him so much, doesn't he?” Liam rhetorically asked, all the evidence they needed right in front of them.

“You guys wanna crash with them and I’ll take the sofa?” Niall offered, bouncing Sophie lightly on his knee.

“Nah, you guys go with ‘em, I’ll crash in here.” Liam said, taking off his tee shirt and jeans, folding them neatly and putting them on the coffee table before pulling down the blanket from the back of the sofa and slipping under it. Niall and Sophie murmured their goodnights before they disappeared into the bedroom and joined Zayn and Louis who were curled around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the talking wasn't too much! Stay happy babes xx


	9. Day Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! 3k!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! x

Day 9

Yup, you guessed it! Bake the cookies! Use whatever you want, whatever shapes, hell, make dicks if you want. Just be happy, darling. 

***

There was no early awakenings that morning, just Louis coming round to false hope and slight nausea. For a minute, all he could feel were strong arms around him, holding him close, one hand on the small of his back and one on his neck and he nearly leaned up to kiss who he thought was Harry before realising that he didn't smell the same. There was no lingering scent of dirt or gunpowder, no underlying smell of his cologne he insists on using. It didn't smell like Harry, and now that he was paying more attention to it, the arms weren't strong enough to be Harry’s, not holding him tight enough nor in the right places. He felt his heart plummet as his mind rationalised things. 

“Morning Lou.” Zayn rasped, voice hoarse from disuse, seeing the older boy’s eyes open. Louis was still far away in his thoughts, mind wandering to Harry like it always seemed to do, praying to a God that he didn't even believe in that Harry was okay and breathing and just alive. The only words he could seem to form were,

“You’re not Harry.” In a voice that sounded just shy of bursting out into tears, barely a whisper, breaking Zayn’s heart. He hugged Louis tighter, running his fingers up and down his arms, pressing a soft kiss to his hair. Louis let himself be hugged, secretly enjoying the comfort that the embrace brought and wrapped his arms almost hesitantly around the Zayn.

“Well aren't you two cozy?” Niall grumbled, squinting at the sudden light change. Sophie was still hugged to his chest, his arms slipped around her waist, letting her nuzzle into his neck. He yawned quietly, mindful of his sleeping girlfriend and slipped a hand into her hair, playing with the soft strands. She sighed happily as she started to come round and blinked open her eyes groggily, focusing on him immediately.

“Good morning, babe.” She whispered, a smile appearing on her face. Niall grinned and stroked her cheek, stroking the strip of exposed skin on her waist from where her shirt had ridden up in the night.

“Indeed it is.” He replied, kissing her forehead lightly, smoothing his thumb over her cheekbone.

“And we’re the cozy ones.” Louis deadpanned, hoping his voice didn't sound as broken as it did when he first woke up. Sophie blushed and tried to snuggle into him further as Niall laughed.

“Touché.”

***  
It took the four of them approximately ten minutes to wake up a sleepy Liam, having to resort to a wet sponge down his shirt before he finally got up, shooting them all death glares as he did so. It then took a further hour for all of them to shower and get dressed before Louis and Niall started arguing about what to have for breakfast.

“Can’t we eat at McDonalds today and eat at Ihop tomorrow?” Louis pouted, trying to use his best puppy dog eyes and making his eyes swim with tears. Niall closed his eyes so he couldn't see Louis’ face and protested again.

“No because today they have a special deal on!” 

“But I really want McDonalds!” Louis whined, crossing his arms and frowning.

“I want Ihop!” Niall retorted and grabbed his coat.

“Okay. Jesus guys. Louis, we’ll get the McDonalds tomorrow and go to Ihop today.” Liam said, copying Niall and unhooking his own coat before shrugging it on. Sophie nodded and took Niall’s hand, following Liam down to the car. Zayn stayed with Louis and pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back slightly.

“I’ll take you to McDonalds, yeah? Let the other three go to Ihop.” Zayn suggested, pulling back from the hug and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Louis nodded and followed him out of the door, trailing behind slightly.

“Hey Liam! I’m taking Lou to McDonalds, we’ll meet up later yeah?” Zayn informed as he walked up to the car, Niall scoffing in the back.

“Just cause he can’t handle not getting his own way. He needs to learn that not everyone is gonna treat him like a fucking princess twenty four seven.” He muttered, purposely saying it loud enough so that Louis could hear from where he stood next to Zayn by the open window. Louis froze, heart missing a beat and tears pricking his eyes. He mentally chided himself, willing himself to just push down the lump in his throat and carry on. Zayn glared at Niall, something like anger flashing across his face and he started to open his mouth as so to retort to Niall’s comment but Louis put a hand on his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“No it’s fine, Zayn. We’ll go with them.” Louis said, forcing a smile onto his face and climbing in to the passenger seat, buckling up. Zayn shot him a worried glance and hopped into the back, Sophie luckily in between Niall and Zayn.

***  
Ihop wasn’t so bad, Louis supposed, pushing his pancakes around his plate. It was hard though, because, ever since this morning, there had been this lump in his throat and an ache in his heart. He missed Harry so fucking much and it felt like someone had torn his heart in half and walked away with the missing part. So, in short, Louis really wasn't hungry. The others were talking happily, smiles across their features and he could feel the familiar sadness of depression lurking in his gut, the voices taunting him, telling him how he was worthless and pathetic and that Harry wouldn't want him even he was alive. Everyone else was so happy and he was ruining it, bringing everyone’s mood down by just being with them. 

“Not hungry, Lou?” Liam asked, drawing everyone attention to Louis who just shrugged, not trusting his voice. Zayn linked their feet together under the table and mouthed an ‘are you okay?’ at the older boy who nodded, blinking back tears at the small gesture, hormones running wild. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Louis?” Sophie checked again, knowing the signs of sadness better than anyone else at the table. Louis went to nod but ended up stopping short and shaking his head when he couldn't keep the tears back any longer. Zayn’s eyebrows tugged down into a frown and he chewed his bottom lip, walking around the table and shielding Louis’ body in a hug.

“I miss him so much, Zayn,” Louis whimpered, throat starting to hurt from holding back tears, eyes burning when the tears spilled hotly down his cheeks, “I-I just, I feel so homesick and it’s fucking stupid because he’s the one that should be homesick but he’s my home, Zee. I’ve never known how it feels for a person to be better than home to me, but I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I can’t get over how he might be dead. What if he never comes back? What if I’ll never see him again? Never have him hold me or sing me to sleep. He’ll never meet the baby.” Louis was full on sobbing now, the others struggling to work out what he was saying. 

“Oh, Lou. I know, honey. But I promise you, I promise, that he’s okay, alright? I swear it.” Zayn reassured, eyes holding a level of sincerity that Louis had never seen before. Luckily, the others had already finished eating so they got Louis back in the car after paying the bill and buckled up themselves, Zayn keeping a hand on Louis’ knee as a source of comfort for the older boy. 

“Hey, you guys go on, I’ll meet you back at the apartment.” Niall said before jogging to the nearest bus stop, not giving them time to protest as they watched his figure grow smaller and smaller the further away he went. 

“Where’s he going?” Liam asked Sophie, figuring that she was the best bet. She frowned and shrugged before rolling her eyes.

“God knows with him. Probably to get some last minute Christmas presents or something. We’ll know when he gets back though so we might as well go.” She reasoned with a glance at the time on the dashboard, the numbers blinking ’10:08’. 

***  
Niall didn't come back soon. In fact, it was a good hour later that he finally walked through the flat door wearing an elf hat and carrying a whole stack of boxes ranging from McDonalds to donuts. They all gave him quizzical glances, each trying to work out why and how he’d bought all of them in such a short time. 

“I felt like a right twat for earlier, Lou. I mean, it’s coming up to your birthday and I know how worried you are about Harry so I went out and got you all your favourite foods and some cookie cutters ‘cause I know you don’t have those and we’re gonna need them for later and just please say we’re still friends because I really like you, Lou and I don’t wanna lose you and-” Louis cut him off with a peck on the cheek followed by a hug after Niall and put down all the boxes. 

“Course we’re friends, Ni.” Louis mumbled into his shoulder before pulling back and sitting back down on the sofa, grabbing a box of food and digging in, the others following his lead and grabbing their own boxes, opening them up and starting to eat even though they’d already had pancakes.

“Cookies after this, yeah?” Niall asked with his mouth full, Louis rolling his eyes and scrunching up his nose in disgust. 

“Yeah, it’s already what? Eleven? I want an early night tonight. Party tomorrow and all, not to mention that this baby is wearing me out like nothing else.” Louis sighed, running a hand down his face and yawning before gently rubbing his stomach, smiling as he thought there was actually a baby inside him.

“I don’t understand how you can wait to find out the sex.” Sophie stated, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I’m not waiting for the whole pregnancy, just until Harry gets back,” Louis said, pausing before hesitantly adding, “if he gets back.” 

“Louis. I promise. I swear on anything, okay? He’ll be fine.” Zayn told him sternly before cramming more food in his mouth causing Louis to crack a smile and roll his eyes slightly. 

“Have you thought of names yet?” Liam questioned, staring at where Louis’ hand was still resting on his stomach. 

“Not really. I mean, I have a few for each gender but nothing in particular. Still trying to get used to the fact that there’s actually a baby, to be honest. Like, it’s real and I’m not just getting fat or summat.” He replied, smiling down at the tiny bump, bringing both hands up to cup it once he was done eating, thumbs stroking over the skin, the others laughing slightly at the comment.

“God. Harry’s gonna be all over that thing.” Niall muttered, cramming more food into his mouth, now on to his second box of McDonalds while the others groaned, Sophie looking slightly confused as she’d never met Harry before, nuzzling closer to Niall and accepting the mouthful of food he fed to her.

***  
“Niall! For the love of God that is not how you mix the ingredients. You know, the aim is to keep it inside the bowl, not adorn the freaking house with it!” Sophie lectured, yanking the wooden spoon out of Niall’s hands and showing him how to stir it properly. 

“Liam, please help Zayn measure that out, it’s gonna go everywhere soon.” She continued, pacing around the kitchen and making sure that nothing went drastically wrong.

“Louis! The cookie cutters are not meant for the butter!” By this point she swore that all the boys apart from maybe Liam were the equivalent of three year olds. Groaning and tugging at her hair she took a deep breath and recomposed herself before checking up on everyone again. Niall had seemed to get the hang of keeping the ingredients in the bowl and not on the floor, Liam had Zayn under control, well, he’d actually taken over completely while Zayn had opted to join Louis who had put down the cutters and started drawing dicks in the butter with a knife. 

“Hey babe, is this mixed enough?” Niall called, beckoning Sophie over. Her heart sped up at the affectionate name as she walked over to where her boyfriend was standing, somehow managing to get some of the mix on his nose. She rolled her eyes with a fond smile and wiped it off with her thumb before peering in the bowl. 

“Uh… Niall… It’s supposed to be blended in. You’ve barely started.” She frowned, giving him a quizzical look. Niall blushed under her gaze and laughed nervously, spare hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“He knows it’s not mixed enough! He just wanted your attention.” Zayn called, snickering at the most recent image Louis had drawn. It was Sophie who blushed this time, cheeks matching the same shade of red as Niall’s. He grinned at her almost shyly before ducking his head down so he could capture her lips in his own. 

“Get a room!” Louis yelled, feigning disgust and quickly turning back to drawing patterns. Liam laughed at his friend’s antics and poured the things he’d just measured out into the bowl Niall was holding, causing them to break apart, love struck looks on their faces. Zayn watched with amusement as Sophie cleared her throat, Niall coming back around to his senses.

“You can’t talk mate, you’re all over Harry twenty four seven. Worse than us, they are.” Niall retorted, directing the last part at Sophie with a crooked grin before continuing stirring in the newly added ingredients. Louis smiled at the mention of Harry’s name, his heart fluttering slightly, knife pausing in the butter as a far off look came across his face. 

“See? Even thinking about Harry turns him into a love struck teenage girl.” Liam teased, everyone turning to glance at Louis’ face before smiling at their friend, Sophie squealing quickly before Louis snorted at her, flashing her a grin.

“Yup, and you better also get used to hearing us fuck. Paper thin walls and all.” He said, throwing her a wink over his shoulder, laughing as the boys groaned and Sophie blushed, ducking her head. 

“You are not corrupting my girlfriend.” Niall warns, glaring at him and pointing. Louis sighed and shook his head before writing Harry’s name in the butter, drawing a love heart next to it. Zayn glanced down and rolled his eyes, going over to annoy Niall instead.

“Can we cut them now?” Louis asks, eyes hopeful, mouth in the form of a smile. Sophie heaves a sigh and rolls her eyes, reluctantly nodding. 

***  
Ten stars, six hearts and five dicks later, they have all the cookies cut and laid out, ready to be placed in the oven, Sophie ushering the boys out of the kitchen, not trusting them when they’re hyper to be near a hot oven nor the cookies.

***  
“Sophie!” Louis yelled from the sofa, his feet resting on Niall’s lap, head on Zayn’s shoulder.

“Whatever it is, the answer’s no!” She yelled back from the kitchen, voice carrying around the flat. Louis sighed and nudged Niall to get him to keep rubbing his feet before calling out again.

“Liam!”

“What?!” He answered angrily, clearly annoyed at being distracted as he walked in from the kitchen, flour colouring his usually brown hair.

“Are the cookies nearly ready?” Louis asked, adding an innocent smile at the end, batting his eyelashes. Liam stared at him in disbelief before seeing Niall rubbing his feet and scoffed.

“Seriously? You’re like a princess!” He sighed, shaking his head. 

“Meh. Are they done or not?” He asked again, pouting lightly.

“Yes they are. Sophie’s just taking them out the oven now.” He replies before walking back into the kitchen, socked feet sliding against the tiles slightly.

“Brace yourself.” He tells Sophie, taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose. Sophie nods and wishes him good luck before the three boys come barrelling through the door, yelling and pushing one another. 

“Cookies!” Niall screamed, running over to the tray and staring at them hungrily, eyes glancing at the different colours of icing laid out on the kitchen table. Zayn and Louis sat down next to each other, Niall joining them as Sophie brought over the cookies, sliding them off of the oven tray and onto a plate in the middle of the table. Niall immediately grabbed a dick shape, Zayn picking a star and Louis the heart. Liam and Sophie stood on the sidelines, watching in on them and feeling very much like the boys’ parents. Niall got to work on the dick, mixing a skin pink colour before slapping it on, not paying any real attention nor care to where or how it went on. Zayn mixed up a silver colour and carefully started to almost paint his cookie, applying the icing in tiny strokes, making sure it was neat and didn’t run down the edges. Louis chose the red and outlined his heart using a piping bag, trying to apply even pressure to keep the lines even and neat looking before filling in the rest of the heart pink, smoothing it out with the blade of the knife. 

“Hey Sophie? You like my dick?” Niall asked, holding up his cookie which very much resembled a dick, vein and all. Sophie choked and blushed, shaking her head and coughing, Liam clapping her on the back while Niall laughed, his head thrown back. Zayn rolled his eyes and added glitter to his cookie, sprinkling it on so that it was even and not patchy at all. Selecting the colour blue, Louis filled the piping bag and carefully, oh-so-carefully, iced Harry’s name in the centre of the heart, placing an orange love heart underneath, grinning at it when he was done. 

“They look so peaceful don’t they?” Liam asked Sophie when she’d stopped choking and gestured to the three boys who all had their head’s down, concentration written over their features. Sophie nodded with a fond smile before taking out her phone and snapping a quick picture of the scene, capturing it at just the write time for Louis had just looked up, eyes sparkling and pink lips smiling at the camera, Niall adding a slit to his dick and Zayn looking at Louis’ cookie with a confused frown.

***  
It was nine o’clock when they finally finished, Liam and Sophie clearing up the cookie and placing them in a tin, putting the love heart with Harry’s name on top of the pile before putting the lid on. If Liam fell asleep only to wake up with a cookie dick in his mouth and a sign on his forward saying,  
‘I like dick’ drawn on in sharpie, well, he has no evidence to who that was, (apart from maybe the photo on Sophie’s phone showing Niall and Louis in the background both holding sharpies).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was good! Please maybe like and comment? Thank you, loves! Stay perfect xx


	10. Day Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler I guess x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Brief, I mean brief, description of rape. I'm sorry if this isn't so good, I kinda hit a wall for this chapter but I really hope it's okay! Enjoy xx

Day 10

Your birthday is tomorrow. You have one job for today. Smile. Smile until your cheeks are aching like nothing you've ever felt before. Hang out with the lads again, in fact, call all your friends and get pissed, have a fucking fantastic time, babe, drink all the alcohol you bought today. Laugh. Smile. Do it for me.

***

Surprisingly it was Sophie who woke up with the nightmare, shaking and crying, waking up the others in the process, Liam nearly falling off the bed. It was actually a miracle that they all got into one double bed, one person always hanging off the edge. Niall stared wide eyed before pulling her into a hug, taking her hands in his and rubbing his thumb across the backs of them before telling her to breathe slowly, in and out. Liam and Zayn were sat looking anxiously on the scene, both feeling helpless and almost as if they were intruding on a personal topic. Then there was Louis who felt like a total dick as tears pricked his eyes, his heart aching, mind flashing with images of how Harry would hold him like that, hug him tight and kiss his lips, wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb. How Harry would lightly rub his back or run his hands up and down Louis’ sides soothingly and kiss the demons out of his dreams. Before he knew what he was doing, he had stood up with a murmured excuse and made his way into the living room, staring up at the picture of Harry sitting atop the tree. 

“Jesus. Just get it together. Don’t you dare cry. Don’t cry,” Louis begged himself, pressing the heel of his palms to his eyes, feeling the tears leak anyway, “fuck, stop crying”. He moved his hands away from his eyes and clamped them in an ‘x’ shape over his mouth when he started sobbing, hoping to muffle the sound. The tears ran hot down his cheeks, dripping off his chin and onto his tee shirt as he slid to the ground, shoulders racking uncontrollably. 

“Louis?” He heard, head snapping up to find Zayn standing awkwardly in the doorway, wringing his hands. Louis tried to force a smile but it soon turned into a grimace as he started crying again, flooded with realisation about how selfish he was being. Zayn rushed over to him, pulling him onto his lap and allowing him to bury his head into his neck. 

“I want him back, Zayn. I want him back. I need him.” Louis sobbed, hands fisting Zayn’s shirt, unable to stop his body from trembling. The younger boy stayed silent and let him rant, holding him close and trying to soothe his sobs with gentle touches, Louis shaking the whole time, vision blurred from wave after wave of tears. 

***  
Liam walked into the living room, Niall and Sophie following closely behind. She’d calmed down now, eyes still slightly red and still tucked under Niall’s arm. Zayn looked up from where he was stroking Louis’ cheek lightly as they approached and held a finger to his lips, pointing at a sleeping Louis. They nodded and sat down quietly, glancing at Louis’ sleeping form, his eyes an angry red, cheeks blotchy and stained with dry tears. 

“Is he okay?” Niall whispered, clearing his throat quietly. Zayn shrugged, eyebrows drawing together as Louis whimpered in his sleep, another tear escaping his closed eyes. Wiping it away quickly, Zayn stroked back his hair, running a thumb over his cheek bone lightly. 

“He just misses him so much. I think it’s his hormones but he’s just so sad.” Zayn said, bringing his hand to rest over the baby bump, Louis settling down in his sleep again. Liam glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and reading ‘1:37’. 

“It’s already twenty to two, we should start the party at what? Six? He’ll wanna sleep I imagine. Not to mention he can’t drink. What with the baby and all.” Liam suggested, pulling out his phone and texting some of Louis’ friends, keeping it small, ten people at most. 

“Let him sleep for a bit longer, hopefully then he’ll feel up to having guests round. We’ll go grab the party food if you want?” Sophie asked, tone soft, her hand resting on Niall’s bicep. Zayn looked over at Liam before nodding, figuring Louis would want as much quiet and possible before the party. Sophie got up to a kneeling position, knees cracking against the carpet as she did so and pressed a kiss to Louis’ forehead, watching his eyelids flutter, eyelashes batting against his cheekbones, nose scrunching in his sleep. Niall followed her, giving Louis’ hand a reassuring squeeze before the three boys could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, splashing off of the shower floor and echoing around the house. Zayn picked Louis up carefully, Liam making sure that the bed was in an okay state to put him back into and opened the door for Zayn. 

***  
“Liam! It’s five o’clock. The party starts in an hour! We gotta wake him.” Niall reasoned, voice sounding from the other side of the bedroom door. Liam grumbled before muttering a short ‘fine’ and letting Niall into the room, his eyes only registering black before they started to adjust and he could make out a lump huddled under the sheets, the little sunlight there was left filtering onto the white sheets.

“Hey Lou, time to wake up, mate.” Niall tried, gently peeling back the sheets and raking a hand through Louis’ hair, earning a grunt in response followed by blue eyes blinking up at him slowly, a frown on his features.

“Party?” He questioned and Niall nodded, gently helping him out of bed and onto the carpeted floor before leading him to the bathroom, still very much half asleep. After wrestling his shirt off of him, he tugged off his jeans, leaving Louis in his boxers as he ran the bath. Once it was sufficiently full, Niall left the room after making it clear that Louis only had ten minutes to bathe and get dressed before Niall would personally drag him out. Louis rolled his eyes and cracked a smile, determined to do what Harry asked him to and be happy. Niall looked slightly taken aback by the smile but flashed a grin at him none the less, eyes sparkling, shoulders slumping with relief that his friend was in fact alright.

***  
Niall didn't have to drag Louis out of the bath but Zayn did. It had been fifteen minutes and Louis still wasn't ready despite the warning shouts that they’d all sent him through the door. It wasn't that Niall didn't want him out the bath, but more like he really didn't want to see his best friend naked if he could avoid it by sending somebody else in for him, so, naturally, they chose Zayn.

“You know, I don’t really wanna see him naked either! Why don’t you send Liam?” He tried, eyes pleading with them but to no avail. They opened the door and shoved him in, able to hear the muttered conversation between the two before Zayn was dragging Louis through the door and shaking him, the towel that was wrapped around his waist slipping dangerously low.

“Zayn! What the fuck?” Louis yelled, gripping onto Zayn’s forearm to attempt to make the shaking stop. When it finally did, Zayn scanned his face, eyes narrowed and head tilted before pulling him into a hug.

“Just making sure you’d snapped out of your state.” He defended upon seeing Louis’ pissed off face, blue eyes turning a shade of grey, eyebrows tugged down.

“By nearly breaking my neck.” Louis pointed out and shook his head before muttering a string of curse words and going into his room to get dressed.

“Great, so now we have a pissed off Louis on our hands. God knows that’s never fun.” Liam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing heavily.

“Sophie, please go sort out the food with Niall, I think we all know what’ll happen if he does that alone. Zayn, go say sorry to Louis. The last thing we need his him angry for the duration of this party.” He ordered, pointing vaguely in the direction he wanted each person to go in before doing a quick scan of the flat and groaning in response to what he saw.

“Fucking shit. Okay, you guys do what he just asked and I’ll quickly apologise then help Li tidy, alright?” Zayn asked, making sure they understood what was happening, giving Liam a quick glance which Liam returned with a small smile. 

***  
Five arguments, fifteen curse words and six beers later, the flat was finally vaguely decent state for a party to be held. Zayn had apologised to Louis and was now rolling his eyes as he was forced to listen to the rant about how he couldn't drink anything while Liam did a last minute clean up, shoving any more rubbish he could find under the sofas or behind the TV while Sophie watched with an amused look from where she was perched on Niall’s lap. The first guest showed up at around ten past five, bringing even more alcohol as if they didn't already have enough and giving Louis a quick hug before flopping on the sofa as if they owned the place. 

By half past, the flat was crammed with people, empty bottles scattering the ground, music shaking the floor at a volume that was bound to get complaints filed to them the next morning and everyone crowding around Louis, thrusting shot glasses in his face and chanting him to drink. Hesitating, he took a shot glass and stared at the contents, dreading what content it contained before raising it to his lips, knowing that one shot wouldn’t harm the baby, and downed it in one, feeling it burn as it slid down his throat. Louis brushed off the worried look Zayn was shooting him and decided to just enjoy the attention he was getting, still amazed at how many people there were.

“I thought you only invited ten!” Sophie yelled over the music to Liam who had his head in his hands and was awfully close to screaming.

“I did! I guess I didn’t quite account for the plus ones, or as it seems, plus tens.” He shouts back, tone of voice showing that he was clearly exasperated and on the verge of having a psychotic break. Sophie looks out over the hoards of people and shakes her head, already envisioning the mess that they were going to be left with. It wasn’t until Zayn started drinking that Liam stood up with an ‘ah, fuck it’ and downed multiple shots, letting himself loosen up. Sophie and Louis were the only sober ones, and even Louis was border lining drunk, swaying slightly after the fourth shot, health risks forgotten in the haze of his mind. Niall was nowhere to be found, probably over by the drinks where she last saw him, drunk out of his mind, which, okay, wasn't really unusual. After watching Louis down his fifth shot, she walked over to him and dragged him away, sitting him on a sofa and making sure he understood the risks of drinking more. He seemed to sober up completely, face going pale as his hand automatically dropped to his stomach, forming a protective hold on it.

“What am I supposed to tell them? Oh, I can’t drink, I’m pregnant?” He questioned with a roll of his eyes and a bitter laugh. 

“Just say you’re not feeling great. They’re all so drunk I doubt they’d even ask why.” She replied and okay, she had a point there. Everyone was either screaming, downing more shots or grinding against one another, swaying precariously on their feet. As Louis was looking over the sheer amounts of people, he realised he didn’t even know half these people and the people he did know seemed to be getting wasted with Niall. Checking the clock he realised that it was only half eight, God, this was gonna be a long, long night, he thought, resting his head on Sophie’s shoulder only to be interrupted by some guy he didn’t even know wolf whistling at them, which somehow drew Niall’s attention and he glared at Louis before walking over and taking Sophie away with a drunken slur of the word ‘mine’. The guy who had wolf whistled still hadn't left and was instead eyeing up Louis, staring at him for a little too long.

“Care for a dance?” He asked, words only slightly slurring, probably fairly sober, and held out a hand. Louis hesitated before taking it, he was hardly breaking any rules by just dancing to one song and Harry had told him to have fun. The guy lead him to the middle of the lounge where other people had started to dance to the upbeat song and started to dance, putting his hands on Louis’ hips. It started out fairly nice, Louis supposed, but things turned too much when the guy turned him round and started grinding on him, keeping him pressed firmly against him, grabbing his crotch and rubbing a hand over it. Louis squirmed and tried to wriggle away, heart rate increasing with fear, desperately trying to call for help but the music was too loud and Liam, Zayn, Niall and Sophie were nowhere to be seen.

“Please!” Louis begged, desperately trying to squirm away, tears pricking his eyes as they guy grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him, before throwing Louis down on the bed and ripping off his clothes before forcing his lips upon his, grinding down against him. Louis pulled back and screamed, calling Harry’s name again and again, screaming it out as loudly as his lungs would let him. It wasn’t until the guy had his hand down Louis’ boxers that Zayn barged in, fists clenched, face red and swung a punch at the guy before straddling him, the sickening crack of Zayn’s fist connecting with the guys face echoing throughout the room, Louis’ heartbeat thundering in his ears as he curled in on himself, sobbing. Liam ran into the room soon after and dragged Zayn off of the guy, holding him back by the shirt while Niall kicked him and the rest of the guests out of the house before making sure Sophie was by his side.

“Louis, boo, come here.” Zayn murmured, voice soft but Louis still flinched when he touched him, body jerking as if he’d been shocked, whimpering slightly. Liam ran a hand through his hair, staring at Louis’ broken form. In the end, Louis only let Sophie near him, probably the fact that she was a girl and not resembling the guy in anyway shape or form. She pulled him into her arms and rocked him back and forth, whispering reassurance into his ears.

“I’m gonna get him to bed. Hopefully he’ll be feeling better for tomorrow. If he’s not then we’re dead.” She said, glancing over at Zayn who’s eyes widened and he chewed his lip. Liam and Niall looked quizzically between them, frowns on their face.

“What’s tomorrow?” Niall asked, words still slightly slurred from the alcohol, making Louis look around warily. 

“Zayn’ll tell you later. I’m gonna stay with him tonight, I suggest you guys sleep on the sofa’s or something. We don’t wanna freak him out more.” They nodded and left the room, all of them with their heads bowed and guilt gnawing at their gut.

“Okay baby, I’m gonna get you into bed, alright?” Sophie told Louis, gently slipping him under the covers before wrapping her arms around him, feeling fresh tears fall against her neck. She stroked his hair soothingly and rubbed his back, flicking on the TV for comfort as they both dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I hope it was okay! I love you all! Comments and Likes make me happy xxx


	11. Day Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff and oh look! More fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This almost gave me cavities... Enjoy! xx

Day 11

Ask Zayn for this day. He knows what to do.

***

Louis was slightly better than he was yesterday, and it was clear he was trying to be. He’d try to mask his flinches with a cough, his wary look by drinking too much coffee, his tired eyes with a false smile. He came down to breakfast with Sophie, arms wrapped around himself in a protective embrace, blue eyes doing a quick scan of the kitchen before perching on one of the wooden chairs and giving them a small smile.

“You okay, Lou?” Liam asked, keeping his distance and his voice soft, almost timid. Louis’ eyes darted over to him and he nodded slowly, hesitating slightly as if he wanted to say something else.

“I have a fucking urge to find that guy and bash his fucking skull in.” Zayn spat, eyes reflecting anger, jaw clenched, fists balled by his side. Liam nodded to Niall who placed a gentle hand on Zayn’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze to gain his attention before shaking his head slightly, giving Zayn a quiet message to just drop it. 

“Anyone hungry?” Sophie offered, clearly trying to break the tension in the room by rushing around the kitchen, making more noise than was probably necessary when she took out pans and plates, wringing her hands while she waited for a reply. Everyone shook their heads, all too concerned with their eldest friend to eat anything. Niall stepped away from Zayn and wrapped his arms around Sophie, calming her with a soft kiss to the temple. 

“He didn’t come,” Louis whispered, voice hoarse and quiet but so, so loud in the room, startling everyone slightly and suddenly four pairs of eyes were on him, all frowning with questioning looks, “Harry. He didn’t come. And I know he’s not here but I- I thought he’d always protect me. He promised he would.” He explained, hands clasped in his lap, eyes staring intently at the tiled floor, tears in his voice. 

“Louis. You know if he finds out about this he will track down that guy and kill him. Like seriously we’re gonna have to hold him back, babe. You know him.” Zayn reassured, slowly walking over to where he was sitting before resting a hand on his shoulder. This time, he didn’t flinch but he didn’t exactly seem happy about it either. Still, baby steps.

“What are we doing today? He said to ask you.” Louis sniffed, wiping away the stray tear that had rolled down his cheek with the back of his hand before looking up at him and trying to smile. Zayn frowned before something clicked and he perked up, eyes widening as he scampered over to his rucksack and pulled out a letter, placing it in Louis’ hand. The older boy frowned as he felt the contents through the envelope, a thick, solid shape being all he could feel. Looking up at Zayn for permission first, he opened it to find yet more rose petals tumble out followed by a slip of paper. Louis rolled his eyes, having basically the same reaction as he did when he got the letter on day one, and picked up the slip.

“Can’t wait, Boo.” 

Staring it at confusedly, he flipped it over, finding nothing except the faint outline of the writing. He frowned and slipped his hand into the envelope and pulled out the object, a key, a silver, thin, house key. 

“What?” Louis questioned, turning over the key in his hand before looking up at Zayn through his lashes, reading the note and holding the key, heart beating with anticipation. A key? A new flat? This one was kinda small and Harry and him had been talking about it, but, God. 

“Come on. Get dressed and we’ll go see.” Zayn replies, a smirk playing on his lips as he watches Louis bolt out of his chair and running to the bedroom, coming back out wearing yesterdays trousers and one of Harry’s tee shirts. Rolling his eyes, Zayn grabs their jackets, already having gotten dressed earlier and shot Sophie a knowing look before leading Louis out of the flat and down to where his car was parked. Louis’ heart rate was increasingly beating faster as they pulled out and sped off, the streets blurring and merging until they were just a blur of distorted colours. 

“Where are we going?” Louis asked, clutching the key in his hand as he looked over at Zayn, trying to get some answers as to where he was taking him. The younger boy just simply shook his head and smirked, keeping his eyes fixed on the road without a word. Sighing, Louis turned on the radio, the familiar melody of Christmas songs carrying around the car. Louis loved Christmas songs, he really did, but if he heard one more he was going to rip his hair out. That was until ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ came on and then he turned it up, catching Zayn rolling his eyes as Louis started to sing along quietly, his voice harmonising with the radio perfectly. 

“I just wanna see my baby, standing right outside my door!” Louis yelled, nudging Zayn to sing along which he reluctantly did, matching Louis’ voice as the sound of their singing filled the car. They didn’t get to finish the song as they arrived at their destination beforehand and Zayn turned off the engine, thus turning off the radio. Louis pouted slightly before taking in his surroundings, jaw dropping open as he did so. It wasn’t a flat. It was a house. A two story house, the driveway being where they were currently situated, white picket fences lining the strips of grass on either side, pots of flowers leading up, alternating between red and white, a wreath hung on the door, strings of Christmas lights hanging from the window ledges.

“Zayn.” Louis breathed, opening the car door and stepping out, feet crunching lightly as they hit the snow that had fallen overnight, his breath visible in the cold December air, fresh snow sticking to his clothing.

“Happy Birthday, Lou.” Zayn replied, a smile stretching across his face as he followed Louis to the front, watching him turn the key in the lock and step in. The younger boy hung back, letting Louis enter by himself.

“You coming?” Louis asked, face frowning. Zayn shook his head and pecked his cheek, Louis flinching slightly still before he turned away, hearing Zayn shut the door and admired the decor. He was standing in the hallway, empty picture frames hanging on the wall, doors leading off left and right, a set of stairs directly in front of him. He wandered down the hall, eyes wide, mouth agape until he saw rose petals scattering the floor, Louis following them to the last door on the right until they disappeared under the doorframe. He paused and slowly turned the handle, the room itself being a lounge, a very dimly lit lounge, candles and the lights from the Christmas tree that sat in the corner being the only source of light. Louis paused in the doorway, fumbling for the light switch, not quite trusting the lack of light. His hand had just found it when a voice sounded behind him.

“Now, where’s the romance in that, huh boo?” Louis stopped in his tracks, heart hammering in his ribs and the familiar voice, knees feeling weak, tears pricking his eyes. He slowly turned around, keeping his eyes shut, scared of the disappointment. Slowly, so slowly, he opened them to reveal a figure, silhouetted in the dark room but Louis would know the outline anywhere. He shook his head, a tear rolling down his cheek before he ran up to Harry, threw his arms around his neck and wrapped his legs around his waist, face nuzzled into his shoulder. Harry stumbled back from the force but soon steadied himself and wrapped his arms around Louis, heart thudding, tears starting to fall for him as well.

“I missed you so much, boo.” He whispered, voice cracking from emotion, hands tightening around his boyfriend, kissing his temple gently. Louis just sobbed out a broken laugh, sniffing slightly, inhaling Harry’s scent, gunpowder still prominent even thought it was masked by the cologne. It was only when Harry stood him on his own two feet that Louis reached up and slapped him, hard, across the cheek, tears fast rolling.

“You dick. You utter, fucking dick. You lied! You lied to me! God, I was going out of my mind, Hazza. Fuck you. I hate you so much.” Louis ranted, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and heard Harry chuckle.

“I guess I deserved that.” He laughed, clutching his cheek. Louis nodded his head and crossed his arms, hip cocked to one side, trying his best to stay mad at Harry. That was soon proved impossible though as, when Louis heard Harry clear his throat, he had moved from where he was standing before and was now down on one knee, a box propped open his hand. Louis stared, mouth falling open, breath catching in his throat.

“Lou, I’ve loved you since I first saw you in that goddamn shop, since you first bumped in to me, since I first heard your voice. I wanted to save you, boo. I wanted to take you away and kiss your scars and hold you until the darkness was gone, but it seems like you saved me. I never really believed in love, never saw the point really. I mean, all my last relationships ended horribly but then you came along. In your stupid fucking oversized jumper and skinny jeans, with your hair styled in a quiff and your size to big shoes. I knew in that moment that I only wanted you for the rest of my life. I only wanted to wake up next to you, to fall asleep with you curled in my arms, to start a family of our own. I really didn't know, still don't to be honest, I have no idea how I got so lucky, how I got to call you mine. And I want it to stay that way for the remainder of my life. So, Louis William Tomlinson, will you do me the honour of marrying me?” Harry was crying by the end of it, tears falling hot and fast down his cheeks, voice cracking in many places, raw with emotion. Louis stood still, frozen by the shock but somehow, some part of his mind told him to nod. Harry grinned, tears dripping off of his chin and slipped the ring onto Louis’ finger before bending gently down and slotting his lips against Louis’, bringing his hands down to Louis’ hips, the elder boy’s hands cupping Harry’s neck and they kissed slowly, passionately in the light of candles and Christmas lights. 

***  
It wasn't until Louis was nestled under Harry’s arm on the sofa that he even thought about bringing up the baby. Hearing Harry ramble on and on about starting a family and needing more space hence the bigger house only made Louis more and more sure that this was the best time to tell him.

“Haz, baby, I-I need to tell you something.” He whispered slowly, cutting of Harry’s line of speech. The younger boy stopped and stared at him, face fearful.

“I- Sure. Is everything okay?” Harry asked, tightening his arm around Louis’ shoulders, nuzzling slightly into his hair.

“Yeah, I'm fine, it’s just… I, uh, I’m pre- I’m pregnant, Haz. And this isn't some kind of joke, I'm not trying to trick you or prank, I even have the ultrasound pictures back at the flat but I- I just, yeah.” Louis finished, heartbeat echoing in his ears. Harry’s arm went limp around him, face pale and blank, staring straight at him. Louis stared back, cheeks heating up under the intense gaze, squirming awkwardly. 

“Harry? J-just say something, anything. Please!” Louis begged, arm curling around his stomach, heart plummeting to his feet. Harry hadn't moved at all, gaze still fixed on Louis, face eerie in the flashing of the lights. The voices were back in Louis’ mind, whispering that Harry was disgusted with him, was going to break off all contact, leave him. It was the same voices that made him stand up and flee the room, tears fast falling as he yanked open the front door and run out into the snow which was quickly becoming heavier and heavier, obscuring his vision so that he didn’t even see the headlights until they were right in front of him, the squeaking of the breaks echoing in his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands thrown out in front of him when a pair of strong arms grabbed his waist and pulled him out the way, the car speeding off into the distance, leaving the two men laying on the ground, Louis hugged tight to Harry’s chest.

“You idiot. Fuck Louis.” Harry breathed, holding Louis impossibly tighter, a hand carding through his hair. Louis whimpered, burying his face into Harry’s neck, breathing shakily, the wet cold of the snow seeping through his clothes. Harry shifted their bodies slightly, rolling them on their sides before he slipped a hand down to Louis’ stomach, gently cupping it, smoothing his thumb over the slight bump located there.

“Harry…” Louis whispered, feeling Harry’s rough thumb rub over the soft skin of his stomach before a pair of plump lips were pressed to his, gently moving in sync, Louis’ hands flying to Harry’s hair, gently entangling in his curls, pulling lightly. Harry moaned into the kiss, moving them so Louis was laying atop of him, Harry’s hands running up and down his sides, causing Louis to shiver slightly from the cold. Harry pulled back, nipping Louis’ bottom lip slightly just to tease him before he bumped his nose against the elder boy’s, planting a peck on the tip.

“You’re pregnant, Lou. Really, really pregnant?” He asked, eyes almost pleading the news to be true. Louis nodded and let himself collapse against Harry’s chest, head resting over his heart, hearing the gentle thud, thud, thud of his heartbeat, sighing happily as Harry brought both hands down to the small of his back, rubbing slightly.

“Haz, we’re lying in the middle of the street in snowfall that I think is turning into a blizzard. Probably not the best idea, baby.” Louis murmured against Harry’s tee shirt, hands clutching his shoulders, eyes drooping. Harry hummed his agreement and gently scooped him up, carrying him bridal style back to the house. 

“The others are coming round tomorrow, Christmas and all. Now, let’s go take a bath, yeah? Have a bath and order pizza, boo.” Louis nodded, smiling as Harry placed a tender kiss to his forehead. 

***  
Harry had run the bath in record time, adding all of Louis’ favourites products before writing ‘happy birthday, Lou’ in toothpaste on the mirror, climbing into the bath and waiting for Louis to join him which he did in two minutes time. He laughed at the message on the mirror before climbing in after Harry, slotting himself between his legs. Harry sighed happily and wrapped his arms around Louis’ middle, thumbing his stomach. Louis let his head fall back against Harry’s shoulder, turning to face his neck, breath hot. 

“God, I missed you.” Harry muttered, tracing patterns over Louis’ skin, rubbing his thighs before lightly dancing his fingers over his stomach, Louis shakily exhaling, releasing a light moan. Harry smirked and ran his hand down to Louis’ groin, hands cupping his balls lightly, other hand taking hold of his shaft. This time the older boy moaned louder, breath hitching in his throat, hips bucking as he felt the heat coil in his stomach, pooling at the bottom as Harry thumbed over the slit. 

“Fuck, Harry!” Louis gasped, muscles tightening as he tried to thrust up to gain more friction, water lapping up the sides of the bath. Harry laughed and smirked, starting to pump his head in slow, torturous movements, sucking Louis’ earlobe into his mouth, nibbling on the skin. Louis wanted to scream out, the teasing becoming unbearable, his toes curling. All at once, Harry stopped his actions, removing his hands and kissing his cheek, his own dick hard under Louis’ arse, making the older boy whine.

“Maybe we skip the pizza and cut the bath short?” Louis breathed, panting against Harry’s skin. The younger boy nodded and pulled the plug, picking Louis up and kissing him, barely making it to the bedroom before they were both a squirming mess, Louis begging and pleading, back arching when Harry pressed a finger inside of his tight heat, feeling around the inside, adding another and scissoring them, gaining a choked off moan from the older boys lip’s, dick twitching. Harry smiled up at him, adding a third finger before pushing in slowly, relishing the noises escaping Louis’ mouth. 

They made love that night, hands mapping out each other’s skin, lips re-memorising every inch of the other’s body, limbs tangled in the sheets as the snow fell heavy outside the window, very much a storm, and after they were both finished, Louis was tugged into strong arms, face nuzzled against Harry’s toned chest, the smell of gunpowder somehow comforting as Louis fell into the deepest and best sleep he'd had in around three months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and like! It lets me know that I'm doing something right! Stay amazing lovelies xx


	12. Day Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end!! Have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! This is the end of this fan fiction! I really really really hope this was worth your time! Enjoy! xx

Day 12

Okay, I lied… This is eleven days of Christmas. On Christmas day I hope you’ll have the best time of your life.

***

Louis thought he was dreaming, thought he was still asleep, still far off in a fantasy when he woke up. There were strong arms enveloping him, cheek against a chest, a heartbeat loud in his ears. Daring to open his eyes, he saw his suspicions confirmed. He was in Harry’s arms, in their new bed, in their new house with an engagement ring on his finger. A slow smile spread its way across his face, eyes crinkling slightly before he threw his arms around Harry, rolling him over onto his back and straddling his waist, face nuzzling into his neck. The younger boy woke up with a gasp followed by a laugh when he realised what was going on and wrapped his arms around Louis tightly, goosebumps rising as Louis’ pressed wet kisses to his neck.

“You’re real.” Louis murmured, voice muffled against Harry’s skin, tears collecting in the corner of his eyes. Harry laughed again and pressed a kiss to Louis’ hair, fingers toying with the silky strands, other hand tracing patterns on his back.

“Yeah, I am, boo. It’s okay, now. I’m done. No more missions, no more leaving, just us.” He murmured, feeling Louis smile against his neck, planting a kiss before rolling them over, Louis on his back and Harry on his side. Louis frowned, lips pouting, confused as to why he’d been moved from such a comfortable position. That was only until he felt Harry’s hand cup his stomach, shimmying his self down until he could press kisses all over the bump, hands gently framing the sides, almost as if he was scared to break it. Smiling, Louis placed a hand in Harry’s hair, stroking his cheek when he looked up, a fond smile breaking out on his face. 

“How far along are you? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you got any names? Do our mothers know?” Harry asked in quick succession, questions merging into one, eyes lighting up happily from where he remained nestled between Louis’ legs.

“Three months along, I didn’t find out the gender, wanted to wait for you, and nope, not really.” Louis said through a yawn, stretching his arms up above his head, the thin, silvery lines clearly visible in the light, scattered across his wrist. Harry frowned and crawled back up, taking Louis’ wrists in his hands like he’d done so many times and kissing gently over the lines, the older boy smiling uncontrollably, Harry’s touch light.

“I flushed them, you know,” Louis said, Harry’s head darting up, green meeting blue, “the blades I mean. They’re gone. Even my hidden ones. All of them are gone.” He finished, ducking away from Harry’s intense gaze, tears filling up his green eyes.

“Lou,” Harry whispered, sound choked off, tears fast falling, “Louis, I’m so proud of you. So, so proud of you. Fuck.” He pressed his lips to the smaller boy’s, gently running his thumbs over the lines, Louis sighing into the kiss. They lay like that for awhile, catching on what they’d missed from each other’s lives, Louis telling Harry about the list and how much he’d missed him, Harry telling Louis about how everyone in his squad wishes them the best. All in all, the majority of the morning was spent cuddling, chatting and lazily kissing, both boys completely forgetting it was Christmas, too caught up and too happy to just be in each other’s company to even remember the outside world. 

***  
It actually wasn’t until they heard a knock on the door that they figured pulling on some clothes might be beneficial and maybe also getting up. Harry tugged on his pyjamas before slipping one of his tee shirts over Louis’ head, followed by handing him a pair of boxers. The older boy rolled his eyes and pulled them on, wrapping his arms around himself as he followed Harry downstairs to the hall. He hadn’t really had time to admire it yesterday, all too caught up in everything that was happening. God, this place was beautiful, absolutely amazing, the walls in the hall painted a deep red colour with white baseboards, the picture frames that he saw yesterday strategically hung. He was about to ask Harry how he’d decorated all of this when voices cut off his line of thought and he saw Zayn, Liam, Sophie and Niall standing outside the door, winter clothes on, hats pulled down low and presents in their arms.

“Boo, c’mere babe.” Harry beckoned and Louis scampered over to him, happily nestling himself under his arm, wrapping his own arm around his waist. It was only then that he noticed the sheer amount of snow there was coating everything. A good three, four inches were spread across pavements, cars, rooftops, everything was white. Louis grinned and looked up at Harry who was already looking down at him, eyes soft, hand reaching up to stroke his cheek before leaning in for a kiss, resting his forehead against Louis’ as he pulled him into a hug, resting his chin atop his head.

“Oh God, brace yourself, Soph. This is going to be disgustingly cute.” Niall warned, pushing past the couple and making his way into the house, letting out a low whistle as he did so, impressed by what he saw.  
“Never leave again, Harry. This one is the hardest person to keep happy when you go. If he calls me Harry one more goddamn time I’m never talking to you two again.” Zayn joked, ruffling Louis hair slightly before following Niall in.

“I missed you, mate. Weird without you there to help tidy up. The flat is a mess by the way, like you can barely get through the front door. Party and all.” Liam said, Louis wincing at the word ‘party’, leaving Harry to look down at him in confusion. Liam’s eyes widened, panic flashing across his features before he quickly followed Zayn and Niall, whispering to them in a low voice.

“I’m Sophie, Niall’s girlfriend and I guess you’re the famous Harry Styles. Heard a lot about you. Thought you were some sort of God or something, the way this one talks about you. ” Sophie teased, tone of voice light. Louis grinned at her and pulled away from Harry, wrapping his arms around her for a few seconds. Harry watched Louis, a smile on his face, and closed the door, keeping the warm air inside and the cold air out.

***  
“Okay! First of all, merry Christmas! Second of all, there is food in the fridge and dinner will be served in around three hours.” Harry informed, sitting down on the sofa in the front room and pulling Louis onto his lap, arms wrapping securely around him. Everyone cheered, Louis leaning back so he was flush against Harry’s stomach, head against his shoulder.

“Please no more parties. Had enough of that last time.” Zayn shuddered, face flashing with anger once more. Louis flinched at the memory, trying to mask it with a cough but Harry still noticed, that and the worried faces everyone was wearing gave it away.

“We might as well tell him. He’s gonna kill us even more if we don’t.” Liam reasoned, bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on it anxiously. The others nodded, Louis’ face staring intently at the ground as he leaned up from Harry’s shoulder.

“Tell me what?” Harry asked, eyes swimming with worry as he looked at Louis, clearly wanting to hug him but refraining, not wanting to push any boundaries that he might have at the moment.

“There was this guy at the party who tried to, to, to do somethings to Lou. H-he’s still pretty shaken up, wouldn’t let anyone but Sophie near him that night. But it’s okay, I hurt him pretty bad, broke his nose and jaw I think.” Zayn explained carefully, rushing the last part, fearing Harry’s reaction. He didn’t say anything, just stared at his fiancé who was pulling at the fraying part of his jeans, eyes refusing to meet his. Shifting him off his lap, Harry kneeled down and lifted up Louis’ chin, tears spilling out of the older boy’s eyes, cheeks red with embarrassment. Harry pulled him in for a hug, arms holding him protectively, large hands rubbing soothing circles on his back. He pulled away and gently kissed away the tears that were falling down Louis’ cheeks before gently lifting him back into his lap, arms securely around his middle.

“It’s not ‘okay’, Zayn. He nearly got fucking raped and you think that’s okay? Who was he? That guy. I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking bash his skull in.” Harry yelled, face red from anger, fists clenched in balls. 

“We don’t know who he is, Harry. All we know is that he’s a dick who won’t be out of the hospital for some time thanks to Zayn.” Liam tried to explain in a way that would calm Harry down and also save their own arses a bit. Louis clung onto Harry tighter and whispered something in his ear, Harry relaxing immediately, fists unclenching.

“Okay.” Harry said with a small nod, smiling at Zayn in thanks for protecting Louis. It was clear that he wasn’t one hundred percent okay with dropping it, but it was also clear that there was nothing that could be done, no one knowing who the guy even was. Niall cracked a joke to try and cut the tension, even Louis managing a smile when he sat up and wiped his eyes, still nestled in Harry’s arms. 

***  
“Let’s play a game!” Niall suggested, Sophie shuddering at the saw movie reference, remember the traps she’d been forced to watch by Holly. Niall gave her a weird look, which, wasn’t anything unusual, but pecked her on the cheek nonetheless, throwing an arm around her shoulders. Zayn and Liam shot each other a knowing look before reaching under the tree and grabbing six presents, handing them out to the appropriate people. Louis stared at the presents under the tree and stared quizzically at Harry who smirked and tapped his nose, placing a small kiss on Louis’ head. 

“Okay. On the count of three we’re all gonna open them.” Liam instructed and started counting up to three, Louis not being able to resist a sarcastic comment about how Liam could actually count before everyone ripped off the wrapping, tape and paper scattering the ground as six nerf gun boxes were revealed, each one identical and all loaded with twelve bullets. 

“This is kinda like truth or dare. Each bullet is a different colour, Louis, you’re blue, Harry, you’re green Sophie, you're purple, Liam you’re red, Niall is the Irish flag… we kinda ran out of colours, and I’m yellow. If the bullet hits you, you must pick it up. At the end, whoever hits who can ask that person a truth or dare question. You can be hit by the same person multiple times. For example, if Niall hit Harry, Niall could ask Harry truth or dare. Everyone got it? We have the whole house to hide in. On the count of three!” Zayn explained, yelling the last part, cocking his gun. When ‘three’ was yelled, all hell broke lose. Everyone ran out the room, darting every which way, none of them knowing the layout of the house particularly well, all of them running blindly in all honesty. 

***  
The game was chaotic to say the least, everyone randomly shooting at everything that moved, Niall not being very good at this particular game and didn’t understand that you could hide instead of remaining out in the open. Harry was the best at this game, which wasn't that surprising given that he’d spend the last year in the army. He managed to hit Niall three times, Louis once, (he might have been going easy on his boyfriend), Liam twice, Sophie once and Zayn five times. Once all of his bullets were gone, he made his way back to the lounge where the others met him after they were finished, all of them red in the face, sweaty and panting. Louis slumped down on Harry’s lap, the younger boy automatically placing his hand over his stomach, bending down to kiss the skin lightly. Louis rolled his eyes but kissed his fiancé none the less when he sat back up which caused Niall to make a fake gagging noise. 

“Okay. Lay out the colour of your bullets and we’ll start to ask the questions!” Liam instructed and everyone started sorting out their bullets into lines of colours on the creme carpet. Once they were done, they took turns saying who got hit by who and how many times. Louis was first, currently situated between Harry’s legs where they both sat on the floor, Harry’s chin resting on Louis’ shoulder.   
“I got shot by Zayn twice, Liam once, Sophie twice and my own fiancé once.” Louis pouted and turned to Harry, bottom lip trembling until Harry shook his head and kissed him sweetly, Louis’ arms going around his neck before Niall broke them apart by throwing a balled up piece of wrapping paper at their heads. They continued to go round to each person, all of them stating who they got shot by who until they all were in a big circle and playing truth or dare.

“I hit Harry which is actually astonishing so, truth or dare?” Niall asked, smirking at Harry. The younger lad hesitated before answering Niall’s question, choosing dare a little reluctantly.

“Since you hit me three times, I’m a tiny bit pissed. My dare is for you to watch Louis kiss Zayn for five seconds.” Niall dared, a smirk playing on his lips, eyes sparkling mischievously, laughing as Harry’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide and an arm holding Louis tightly. Louis shrugged him off and crawled over to Zayn, stating that a dare was a dare before he climbed into the black haired boy’s lap and fitted their lips together, moaning for effect until Harry yanked him off by the collar, face red, eyes angry and lips pursed. Zayn was sat a little shocked, eyes dazed, everyone staring at Harry and Louis, awkwardly averting there eyes when Harry shoved his lips onto Louis’ pulling his hair lightly, Louis gasping into the kiss, Harry’s tongue licking into his mouth, the older boy clinging on to him, body weak from the intensity of the kiss. When Harry finally pulled back, Louis’ pupils were blown wide, his breathing laboured, eyes hooded. The younger boy smirked and pulled Louis into his arms. He went easily, body pliant, still somewhat shocked.

“Now that we’ve finished the free porn, I suggest we get on with this game.” Liam coughed, cheeks red from embarrassment and took his turn, asking Zayn how old he was when he first had sex. 

When Niall’s go came around again, he chose Sophie and she of course picked truth, seeing some of the other dares and not really wishing to do some of the things she’d witnessed the others do. Niall bit his bottom lip worriedly before asking,

“Would you maybe possibly consider moving in with me?” Sophie stared, mouth opening and closing, closely resembling a fish as she stared at him in shock. Slowly she seemed to come back round to her senses and nodded her head, throwing her arms around Niall’s neck and pressing her lips to his, feeling his arms snake around her waist.

“This game has seen enough kissing to last a life time. Jesus, enough with the kissing!” Liam yelled, breaking them apart and rolling his eyes at the loved up looks they gave each other before continuing on with the game.

“Louis. Truth or dare.” Liam asked, mischief hinted in his voice.

“Dare.” Louis replied casually, burrowing further into his arms, smiling as his hands framed his stomach, thumbs smoothing over the skin. Liam shook his head and whispered something in Zayn’s ear, both of them smirking before turning to look at Harry and Louis, rubbing their hands together.

“I dare you to give Harry a lap dance.” Liam said, grinning as Harry’s eyes widened and Louis stared at them before standing up, waiting for Harry to sit up on the sofa before climbing onto his lap and grinding his arse down on his groin, throwing his head back and moaning, feeling Harry grow hard underneath him. The others timed them, two minutes, and turned away to their own private conversations, occasionally hearing the odd grunt from Harry or a cuss word.

“Okay! Times up!” Zayn yelled, watching in amusement as Harry desperately clung onto Louis’ hips, bucking up desperately for more friction. Louis kissed his forehead quickly and climbed off his lap, leaving Harry nearly begging for more. The older boy took his hand and excused them both for a bathroom break. Sophie blushed crimson and buried her face in Niall’s shoulder while Zayn and Liam snickered.

“Do we have to do this? I really don’t want to picture what they’re doing right now.” Sophie complained, nuzzling further into Niall when he wrapped an arm around her. He distracted her by telling everyone stupid jokes that were somehow so pathetic that they were hilarious. Harry and Louis came back ten minutes later, hair disheveled and clothes creased, a smile etched onto both of their faces.

“You’re disgusting.” Sophie said, wrinkling her nose before kissing Niall’s cheek in a thank you for distracting her. The game went on from there, a silent agreement being made that no more dirty dares would be played. 

By five o’clock, everyone was starving, the snow gently starting to fall again outside the window, casting little circular shadows on the creme carpet of the lounge, the Christmas lights illuminating the room in different shades of blues and silvers, eventually fading to black. Harry, Sophie and Liam went into the kitchen to get dinner started, leaving Louis, Zayn and Niall to watch a movie on the newly bought flat screen, of course choosing ‘Home Alone’. 

***  
The preparation of Christmas dinner was eerily quiet with no interruptions coming from either of the three guys in the lounge which, to be frank, freaked out the Sophie and Liam a bit, Harry reasoning that they’re probably engrossed in the movie. The other two shrugged it off and started to set the table, laying crackers and napkins down in every place, cutlery and plates, glasses and candles. Harry brought through the food, setting it down the middle before lighting all the candles, the flames casting flickering shadows against the green table cloth. Harry dimmed the lights so the flames were more prominent but keeping it bright enough to see what they were consuming. 

“Let’s go get them.” Liam said, cracking his back and rubbing a hand down his face. The three of them made their way back to the lounge only to find all three boys curled round each other, Louis’ head on Zayn’s chest, his arm thrown around his stomach and Niall hugging Louis’ middle. Harry’s heart swelled with affection as he walked over to his fiancé and gently brushed the hair off of his face, causing him to wake up as he did so. He blinked blearily up at him, blue eyes darkened in the lighting of the room and Harry scooped him up, smiling when Louis nuzzled into him, sighing happily.

“Come on, boo. Time to eat, darling.” Harry cooed, carrying him to the dining room and setting him down in his chair with a kiss, carding his fingers through his feathery hair before taking the place next to him, joining their hands under the table. The other four came through soon enough, Niall rubbing his eyes with a yawn, Zayn stretching so his shirt rode up, revealing his toned stomach, all taking their places at the table and loading their plates. 

The Christmas crackers came next, Louis of course pulling his with Harry, and winning, letting Harry put the blue crown on his head, pressing his lips to the older boy’s forehead once it was sitting appropriately, muttering a ‘you’re so beautiful’ against his skin, causing Louis to blush slightly. The dinner was probably one of the best Louis’d ever had and for once he felt truly happy, like he was feather light sat next to Harry and surrounded by all his friends, a baby growing inside him, a whole new house and a ring on his finger. He felt like the luckiest man in all the world. 

***  
Of course Niall was the one to suggest opening the presents after they’d finished eating, everyone seated themselves around the lounge once more, Louis hanging back in the doorway and waiting for Harry to finish up in the kitchen. He pulled Louis into his arms when he saw him waiting and rubbed his hands up and down his arms, nuzzling their noses together. Louis looked around confusedly when everyone started cooing before Sophie pointed above their heads, causing them both to look up and see the mistletoe hanging above them. Harry grinned and leaned down, cupping Louis’ face as their lips slotted together, moving slowly and lovingly, Louis’ hands playing with Harry’s hair before a cough pulled them apart, dazed grins on their faces.

“Hey, Lou! This one’s for you!” Niall yelled, handing Louis a present from Sophie. Louis grinned and tore off the wrapping to reveal a shoe box, a pair of polished black shoes, expensive looking and exactly the right size. Louis’ eyes lit up and he pulled her into a hug, thanking her again and again before pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

Niall handed Sophie four little presents wrapped neatly wrapped in purple wrapping paper. She stared at him for a moment before neatly unwrapping each one. The first one was a gold bracelet with the words ‘forever and always’ etched into the metal. The second one was a Victoria’s Secret perfume. The third one was a little book titled ‘reasons why I love you’, filled with compliments and reassurances on every page. Lastly there was a house key, a heart engraved onto the metal. By the end, Sophie was blinking back tears, her eyes burning with them as she threw her arms around him, burying her face into his neck.

Harry’s present from Zayn was a new jumper, scarf, jeans and a hat, all made out of the softest wool Harry had ever felt and were a dark green for everything apart from the jeans which were black and incredibly tight. 

Liam’s present to Niall was three bottles beer wrapped in blue paper, all with ‘Niall’s beer’ printed across the labels. He laughed and threw his head back, hugging Liam with one arm and patting his back. 

Zayn’s gift to Liam was Hugo Boss cologne which Liam accepted with a smile and a hug, a faint blush visible on his cheeks in the glow of the Christmas lights.

The gift spree went on for around half an hour, all of them taking turns to exchange gifts, ‘Home Alone’ playing in the background, Louis tucked under Harry’s arm. They all received presents from everyone, having around five each by the end.

Louis got a silver necklace with ‘h+l’ engraved onto the pendant, some expensive aftershave and a book titled ‘why I want to marry you’, similar to Sophie’s book and filled with reasons why he was amazing. All of these gifts were from Harry. From Zayn, Louis got football tickets to a game in February. From Liam he got scented candles, the other boys snorting as he opened the gift, earning a slap each and an eye roll from Louis. Niall got Louis two pairs of onesies, one for him and a matching baby one. Sophie gave him something similar, but a pyjama set that said ‘I love my daddies’ and a build-a-bear wearing the exact same pyjamas. If Louis started tearing up, it definitely wasn't because of that.

Harry received a scrapbook from Sophie, filled with various pictures she’d taken over a period of three months, to the boys out in the snow to when they were baking the cookies. Liam got Harry a Nivea’s men moisturiser and Zayn got Harry the clothes as mentioned above. From Niall he received a bottle rose champagne, wrapped in pink wrapping a matching bow which caused Harry to bark out a laugh. Louis didn't get him anything on the account that he didn't even know he was coming back but Harry insisted that his hand in marriage and the baby were the best gifts he could've asked for.

Sophie received Niall’s four gifts, Liam got her an array of gift cards, Zayn bought her a pair of gold studs, Louis and Harry got her box of lush bath bombs with a hidden sex toy in the bottom. Harry taking partial credit for Louis’ gift given that he’d never even met her.

Liam got cologne from Zayn, Victoria’s secret underwear for Sophia from Louis, Sophie gave Liam a Rolex watch, Niall and Harry both giving bottles of win all neatly wrapped and colour coordinated, paper glittering in the light

Niall received a guitar from Sophie, a pair of sex handcuffs from Louis, the other three boys buying him packs of beer which made Niall laugh and comment about how they were trying to turn him into an alcoholic. 

They didn’t bother cleaning up the paper, instead opting to just sit on various sofa’s around the room and watch sappy Christmas movies that were playing on the TV. Louis had never really been sure of anything in his life really, never known where he was going or how he even felt mostly, but for the very first time he sat down in the lounge of his and Harry’s new house, his fiancé’s hands cupping his stomach as he was pregnant, surrounded by friends with happy memories and he knew, he just knew, that this was it, this was his forever and always, his everything. 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a massive thanks to my Beta and best friend Sophie for sticking with me through this while I debated ripping my hair out from the stress. The response to this has been bigger than I'd ever hoped for so thank you so much! I really hoped you enjoyed this fic and I am debating whether or not to do a sequel so please leave a comment/like if you would like one! Stay amazing, strong, beautiful and fabulous babes xxxx

**Author's Note:**

> I've only split these into chapters as otherwise it would be nearly 20-25k long and chapters work better! Hope you enjoyed!


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